"We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack."
— Arthur Schopenhauer
I read this quote this morning and immediately thought of my credit card bill. It is payday and I have been anxiously going down my list of bills to pay. Check! Check! Check-a-roonie! I love paying bills. I have no idea why. It is my drug. I pay bills with religious conviction. It supports a feeling of "Hey! Look at me! I am a good citizen living within my means (f0r the most part)! Gooooo Credit Score!" Which makes me a total asshole, I know. But we have been unemployed a good bit in the past couple years, so I know what it is like to have the shoe on the other foot. Still, since paying bills is mostly a private thing and this is my private feeling about it, I assume no harm done to the world at large.
Except. Except!
The bedamned birthday party is sucking away all my money wahhhhhh. I am eyeing the college fund because I need a few hundred more dollars to put on the credit card so that we won't have to pay any interest. (Won't! I Won't! Do! It! ...Ok. I might.) Then comes this quote. I am focusing on what I am lacking, not what I have. We have two good, relatively stable jobs. We are healthy and able to work. We are able to pay all of our bills, even if I wish I could pay more on the debt. I already put a ton of money on the card. If I have to pay interest this one month, it will be ok. Next payday, I will have it all taken care of, no problem. Sometimes you need a little help. Sometimes you just need to let go.
Will I ever learn my lesson when it comes to birthday parties? Methinks no...
3 comments:
Can I thow out some advice?
DON"T DO IT!
I am ASHAMED to say that I 'borrowed' money from my daughter's birthday money to supplement an unusually high heating bill last year (we were really strapped or I never would have done it) and explained it away saying I'd put it back in no time. Guess what? A year later and I've only put half of it back. That is probably the worst thing I have ever done as a parent.
I paid bills this morning, too. It is by FAR my favorite household chore, so you are not alone. For me, it's a sense of being organized and responsible, because there was a long while there where I wouldn't have been able to locate bills in the large pile in the mess of a living room in a mess of clutter. It feels good to pull them out of my small file box, write a few checks, click a few buttons, and be done in five minutes every week. Totally different life. (Yet another reason I'm glad I'm 32 and not 22.)
I don't really LIKE paying bills, but it does make me feel quite accomplished.
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