Hi in the Middle

 Ohio was everything I hoped it would be! There was ice cream. There were so many outdoor activities because the weather was not suffocating. Sometimes it was even downright cool! Like in the freaking 60s! Miracle. There was soft, super green everything and lightning bugs.

I missed Honey and Brother like crazy the first two weeks. Once Brother got there, I couldn't wait for my husband to show. The first week was crazy busy and then the kids got sick. The second week was a lot of recuperation and a good bit of resting. The third week I was going a bit nuts and trying to get Honey to change his plane ticket, but he couldn't change his vacation week. And the fourth week was like a dream, like a real vacation. Man, I like my husband. 

There was oodles of family. Just the nicest people. I told my cousins that they were so kind and positive, they were like Disney princesses and where the heck are the charmed birds and squirrels? Well, I got the laugh I wanted and they subsequently all argued about which princess they would be. A kerfuffle ensued over who got to be Mulan.

I always worry around them that I am going to say something boneheaded and have to deal with the shame of my faux pas forever. They are a high standard to reach, you know? I think I said something incredibly stupid at least four times. That averages to only once a week. So, not bad. I think I might be a bit more forgiving of myself then I have been in the past.

 Claire had her first ice cream cone! On account that they had dairy free soy ice cream. The boys were terribly jealous because her ice cream had cookie bits in it, but I only allowed them to get "twist" soft serve cones, which is chocolate and vanilla mixed. Peanut allergies, man. Ice cream is a major hazard for us. In a move of solidarity, I only got "safe" ice cream, too. But I do kind of regret not being about to get a really great sundae even once. Oh well!

 We also had lots of impromptu parties and attended a family reunion. Ohio pizza, y'all! It wasn't actually as good as I remembered, but it is pretty different from the chain stuff we have around here. It was fun to eat what I ate as a kid.

We attended so many events, like family movie nights and drive in shows. We went and saw fireworks quite a few times.  We also saw the waterfalls at Cuyahoga Valley National Park, which was a huge highlight of our trip. Creeks to play in! And rocks! There is such a dearth of rocks to play with where we live. We drove one day to meet my darling SaLy and see the kids at Lake Erie! It was startling to see internet folks in person. They looked just like their pictures, except you could see their cute freckles more clearly and the babies eyed me with deep mistrust. (Quit freaking the kids out, Misty!) (Sorry.)

We also went to Amish Country and checked that out a bit.  Also, while we were on our way to a park, we stopped at a Dollar Store and an Amish family came in. The kids were a bit stunned, I think. I liked being about to describe a bit about the people and why they lived the way they did. I also had fun showing the kids the Amish 'car' at the hitching post in the back of the store.

 I have thoughts on the whole Amish interest movement. There were billboards that advertised plays based on Wanda Brunstetter's books? I wonder that this might not be cultural appropriation? Aren't these folks financially profiting from co-opting another culture? It is interesting to think about. I think the basic stance of Amish-type faiths is to basically ignore what us crazy English do.

Coming home was great, too! We rented a house which was easily twice as big as ours, but I really like my home best. I don't know exactly why because there are certainly things wrong in my house, but I think those are things I have made my peace with. I had not made peace with the broken oven in the rental or the lack of a vaccuum!

I am so glad I did this. I am so glad we made it happen. I feel like the kids will remember it forever. The month flew by but I really hope the kids made a connection with their extended family, seeing as it is just us and my parents Down South. There was much talk of moving, but I think they would not like the winter so well! School starts soon here, so I have been scrambling to get ready for that. Gymnastics and piano and new high school activities! Life is full. Life is good.

Trips Anywhere You Can Trip To!

This morning I sat down with all sorts of things to tell you! And then:

• I got an email saying they cancelled one of my highest limit credit cards. 
• Scooter knocked over a bookshelf
• And then bit Jelly on the arm so hard it bruised.
• All while I was on the phone with the credit card company to find out what the ever loving hell they were thinking. (I hadn't used it in over two years. Policy. Blah blah. Use your cards!)

So! I am going to try to get my good mood mojo back.

We scheduled our fancy vacaaaationnnnnn!!!! Praise be to all high deities who may or may not exist for granting me such a selfless mother. I shall heap thanks upon her and buy her a nice souvenir. We are flying to New York and going on a New England/Canadian cruise. I can't wait to see stuff! And relax. I find cruises very relaxing and I feel like we really need that almost-forced down time. This is why we decided against just a straight New York vacation. And hotel prices in the city. Jebus. So! Leaves! Statue of Liberty! Mountains! We almost always vacation at the sunny, warm beach. I am proud of us for branching out...temperature wise, at least.

We leave soon for our month in Ohio! So excited to catch fireflies and eat ice cream and feel the soft, soft grass. And cousins! The most lovely cousins you would ever wish to meet. They are completely happy and fun and pleasant all the time. Like angels who laugh a lot and tell naughty jokes on occasion. I would think that was too good to be true, except I have known them my whole life. They have aspirational temperaments.

So, because of these two things, we are practically hemorrhaging money. Heh. I know, this is the not-fun part. And I did save, really. But these are the things I want to spend my money on. I don't want to wait for retirement to travel. I want to give my kids experiences in the years they still live in my home. They don't need inheritances, they need memories! Right? Well, this is my philosophy. We will catch up. We always do. I am careful with grocery money and our housing is below what we could potentially afford. Then there is back to school and then the holidays. Meh...it will be ok. Positive thoughts! And cruises!

I am nervous about leaving my husband for three weeks. I really like him, you know. And my children are hellions quite a bit. And no breaks. But cousins, right? And fireflies? And Skype.

Tidbits

• Yesterday we went to the Capitol to go to a couple of museums and have lunch. It was kind of neat. We went to places we had never been to before. There was art, science, battleships, and pizza. Pretty cool!
• I had massive panic attacks over heights though and felt like an ass. Shaky and terrified the kids would fall. Clearly, it is a good thing I live in a flat place. If there were mountains about, I might keel over.
• Our summer camp plans got upended. It is a difficult setback as I had nothing planned for those three weeks and now we are completely without plans. So, we will go to the library events offered. Piano lessons have started again. I will try to keep the kids from screaming with boredom and not sulk about how things never seem to go the way that I planned.
• Speaking of the library, I think I checked out just about all of the new picture books they had set out.  Sorry everyone else! Greedy. We will return them promptly, though. Usually before the week is up.  I am worried about how we will function when we have no library to go to in July because we will be in Ohio. I doubt Ohio libraries will lend us books. Maybe I should ask though? Policies are different everywhere.
•  Honey and I are trying to go on a anniversary vacation, but there are these children, see? And they require care and watching and feeding and such. Because I am home right now, we don't have daytime care for the baby. So, this would require someone (my mother) to actually take a week off of work so we can go on a trip. This feels so incredibly inconsiderate and also sad. We really want to go. We could and might just take a weekend trip, but it is kind of a big anniversary. It is so disappointing to settle.

Togetherness

Summer is officially here as of last Thursday. This means a whole lot of family togetherness! I had a cram-packed summer planned, but camp might be getting cancelled. This is throwing me into a tailspin.  I hadn't planned activities for those weeks because: Camp. All day. If camp doesn't happen, we will have time to go to more library programs, but this would only be a few hours on a couple days. Not all day, every day.

I was looking forward to camp. Just today, Scooter got sent to time out because he threw things at me in anger. Then, whilst in time out, he emptied the bookshelf onto the ground. We read a lot. It was enough to cover most of the floor in 6 inches of books. When the rain stopped, I made the Middles go outside. Within 15 minutes, Scooter comes screaming in with a mudball to the back of the head which was "accidental" according to Jelly and his posse.

So! Summer. Not going as I planned, but when does it ever?

I am having a hard time appreciating the time I have left before I go back to work. I have calendars of events and every single thing I do, I feel so glad it is over. Check! Check! Off the list. What's next? And I can't fathom how I am going to work full time and do all this stuff that needs doing. Still worried about childcare needs and how exactly I am going to handle that. Oh, and Honey and I really wanted to go on a trip this fall, but our chosen location is ending up being wayyyy more expensive than I bargained for.

Am I rambling? I'm rambling. Let's count blessings:

1. The baby turns one and her party is this weekend. We will have friends over and I love friends.
2. Our Ohio trip is getting closer and closer. I miss my family. I can't wait to catch lightning bugs and feel the soft, soft grass beneath my feet and eat ice cream.
3. My husband is such a champ. He works all day and comes home and rescues me from tiny hooligans. It is our 10th year this year! I am such a lucky bug.
4. I have a new computer in my room that I don't have to share with children. This is huge.
5. I paid bills and we have enough money to pay our bills. This might seem like a cop out blessing, but things unexpectedly came up. I wasn't sure, but we are all good.

First

I am getting ready for the baby's first birthday. Today I am baking giant cupcake shaped cakes for smash cakes. I will have one for a photo session this weekend and another for her actual party.  I care what the photo cake looks like a good bit more than the birthday party one, for obvious reasons. At the store, I saw pink velvet cake mix and picked it up. I want a pink cupcake with white icing. I also saw some giant smarties, which I thought would work well as giant sprinkles for the cupcake. Now, to figure out how to soften them a bit.  My good friend James is a skilled baker and she will be helping me decorate the smash cake this weekend before the pictures. I am excited! I hope it will come out awesome.

I had hemmed and hawed and contacted a bunch of sellers on Etsy about her birthday outfit. It was going to be so pricey. But! Then! I decided to just go check on Amazon. Boom, they have darling little outfits. I chose this one:

And if that isn't just the best, I also got matching bloomers:

WITH the tiny darling little hat to go with the ensemble. The hat is so wee, it fits in the palm of my hand:

All this for less than I would have been able to get an outfit on Etsy for. Granted, it is not personalized. But after agonizing for so long, I just decided to make my life easier. I really wanted to do a T-Rex in a Tutu themed party, but it was getting just too complicated. I really had learned the lesson that doing generic, birthday party themed birthdays is really the way to go. You can easily recycle leftover supplies! It is easy to find stuff to match your theme! It is still very festive! I just forgot this lesson because of years of doing all boy stuff: GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL.

For the most part, I still think that the difference between girl babies and boy babies is largely a difference in accessories. But oh, the accessories. :) It is so fun to dress her everyday and I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to girl toys. I WANT to play with girl toys. My boys never really had a huge interest in dolls or stuffed animals or kitcheny things. I guess the baby might not either...but I still get to BUY them. Right?

The walls of the house are still bare for the most part due to the painters. I really need to get a move on, but it seems like I can only do stuff when the kids are napping and when the kids are napping? No pounding on walls or someone will D I E. So, I have to figure out this conundrum and soon. I am sure it is a matter of scheduling and waiting for another adult to be around.

School ends this week and our cram packed summer begins! Excitement.

It was worth it

Last week was a particularly difficult week. I finally bit the bullet and hired painters. However, since they were driving from an hour away, they also talked me into putting baseboards in the addition (which has been baseboardless for five years!!!) and fixing up the wooden swing set in the backyard.

The swing set was getting hazardous. Apparently getting the rubber coated wood was NOT a good idea. I thought it would protect it. But the company thought they would save some money and use untreated wood in the coated pieces. Termites thought this was dandy and ate out the wood, leaving a dust filled tube.  I also had no idea that you have to do yearly maintenance on those things. You are supposed to paint or seal the wood yearly? Hubba wha? I am hoping we now know enough to keep the one we have until the baby has grown out of it. It cost more than expected to fix it up. Anyway. Don't buy wooden swing sets.

The baseboards are beautiful. I love the paint colors we chose. But having my house tore up for a week? Negatory. That was HARD. Hats off to folks who do it for longer. Only two rooms in my house did not have something being done. Honey and I were snappish with each other and the kids all week. But now it is over. Everything is pretty and major stuff got crossed off my to do list. (Hello, baseboards.) Now I can dream of fixing the flooding yard. Heh.

 Living room and hall color

 Master bedroom color

Master bath color - my beachy dreams are starting to come truuuuuue!

Weekend Recap

Here is a listing of the things accomplished this weekend by the Our House Family:

• Snowballs were procured. Cherry, Wild Cherry, Blue Hawaii, Candy Apple, and a conglomeration called the Hannah Montana which was grape, bubble gum, and cotton candy. It wasn't horrible. Kinda.
• An English project was worked on for many many many hours. You'd think it would be done. Or awesome. But, not yet.
• The porch railing was painted white. So pretty! The chocolate colored floor might need done again. There is chippage on the steps already and it was done just a few weeks ago. Bleh.
• A third quote was received from painters for the interior. Also a baseboard install and swing set repair.
• French fries and sweet tea were consumed.
• Hair! Was! Cut! But just the middles. Time ran out for Brother and Honey.
• My folks visited.
• I took my dad out for a birthday lunch. I had blackened redfish with a loaded potato casserole and grilled vegetables and a salad. And the strongest Peach Bellini I have ever had. The food took a while to come out so they offered me a second Bellini on the house. I had to decline. There was no way I could drive home if I had two.
• Teenagers visited and were carted all over town.
• We finally put the baby swing on the swing set. She is in love. She actually fell asleep in it and we were able to do some yard work.
• The wading pool was put up and the entire neighborhood had to change clothes multiple times.
• Water balloons were involved.
• We took a walk into the neighborhood they are building the next street over. House size is comparable and the prices are decently high. Hoping that it helps our property value as we are probably still, best case scenario, $40,000 upside down. Still, HOPE!
• The weather was unseasonably beautiful. It was a great weekend.

Me and My Pa

 

Friday Tidbits

       

•  Brother takes piano lessons at the local university. He was taking them with a teacher in her home, but she had her first baby and is on maternity leave. We used this opportunity to explore other venues. Brother loves going to the music building where there is always someone rehearsing or a recital or concert going on. He has lessons with a graduate student there in the practice rooms through a community music school program with the university. I remember loving going to that same music building when I was in college. It is such an exciting feeling to know he feels just how I felt when I walked in when I was not a whole lot older than him. Like a gift. 
• I have begun summer planning. There will be band camp and piano lessons. Swim lessons and we are looking at day camp for the Middles. Summer is so expensive, but I want them to have a busy, fun summer so badly. And if they hang around here, there is the chance of boredom and too much screen time and I will never get the baby to nap with their loudness in residence. Weekends are difficult enough.
• Summer always makes it feel like money is tight. We will be going to Ohio. I am still trying to hire painters. And the kids want to know when we are going to the beach. I was kind of considering skipping the beach this year. I love that it is a yearly tradition, but the Ohio trip will be long and likely expensive. I might be able to schedule a beach trip when we get back if the cabins aren't booked.  
• We still need to get Honey's plane ticket for the Ohio trip and get the baby's birthday stuff taken care of. Ug, I need to get on that. I got her birthday outfit and ordered her photo banner. I need to do invites. I am going to order catering from Izzo's and might bake her cake myself. I am going to try to keep it simple. I am so not good at keeping it simple!
• Haircuts. The boys all need haircuts. I must do haircuts! They are looking pretty shaggy. Their hair was really long and trims were a bit more simple. When it grew out, it wasn't such a mess. Just longer. Then the Middles decided they wanted short cuts like their dad, which is really good for summertime. But they are growing out crazily and showing all my cutting flaws. I really need to do something about it. 
• I have tried adding pictures to bring some visual interest. Glad I figured out how to do it more easily. Yay me! 

Stream of Consciousness

It feels chilly for this time of year. I just opened the window in front of me while a mountain stream recording plays on the tablet. I could almost pretend I am somewhere else. The rain and storms over the past few days have knocked down trees along the roads that lead to Scooter's Mother's Day Out program. We look at the large branches and the big trees on the wires and in the yards. It is funny how they call it Mother's Day Out, when really I just come home and put the baby down for a nap. I pay for it so Scooter can go play with new kids for a few hours. He really enjoys it and I feel better about his socialization because of it. The baby has been sick. Yesterday they sent me to the hospital to get a urine sample to see if her high fever is a UTI. I just thought she was teething. Three tries later, still no sample. They sent us home. I eventually was able to get maybe a tablespoon and Honey dropped it off at the lab on the way to work.

Honey isn't actually working today, but rather attending some sort of teleconference with an exceptionally slow and dull trainer. I told him that the guy he is filling in for at the training owes him lunch. And also to enjoy the simultaneous atrophy of his glutes and grey matter.

Mother's Day is coming up and I secretly want a musical instrument. However, we spent a ton of money on new shrubs and mulch and I did say that should be my Mother's Day present. And the handyfella is coming this evening to give us a quote on wall repair and paint. Plus, I have no time to scratch or do dishes nor pee without holding the baby (THIS is the stage we are currently enjoying.) So what makes me think I would be able to play a noisy instrument? I couldn't even wait until the kids were asleep because: noise. However, I read the other day that you shouldn't put off your dreams until 'later.' Something like the later doesn't always come. I have said this to my parents before. Don't put off all your traveling and vacations until retirement. Spend some money now making memories. They don't listen, of course.

And I should be using the time and effort to fit into my pre-baby wardrobe instead of struggle with a new skill. (I do guess getting into my old wardrobe would be struggling with a new skill. Or at least a skill I have never mastered.) When we go to Ohio this summer, I am going to have to stand next to my beautiful cousins. Really not looking forward to that. I have made a countdown calendar to motivate myself, but either still nursing or the mid-thirties metabolism slow down is thwarting me. I am so much happier as a person when I am not dieting. Literally, I was in such a vicious mood on Saturday that I sat down and had a piece of cake. I was better after that. The calming effect of carbs. I guess I just need reprogrammed or something.

Weekend Warriors

Last weekend we tackled some chores around the house. I love getting stuff done, but finding the inclination to do so is sometimes just as hard as the actual work. I did get my mom to come and watch kids and Honey and I spent a whopping 3 hours at the Lowes. We bought paint and shrubs and hardware and priced garden pavers and all kinds of fun stuff.

The next day, I took my giant 8x10 living room rug outside and washed it with oxyclean, Dawn, and a water hose. The kids helped! I found this idea on Pinterest when I had been agonizing about how to get the stupid thing cleaned. I *could* have hired someone, but that would require me to call people and ugggg. Plus, I always wonder if I am getting screwed over. Am I paying too much? Should I get more price quotes? Additionally, I kind of hate having strangers in my house. Scary. So! Pinterest told me to just take the dadgum thing outside and wash it. I decided to just do it. It worked beautifully! We washed and rinsed it, then rolled it up and laid it horizontally on top of our giant trash can so water dripped (poured) out of both ends. A few hours later when it stopped dripping, we hung it over the porch railing in the sun. When I do this again, I will wear rubber gloves. In my enthusiasm, I got rug burn on my hands. Ouch!

 The next day we turned it so the other side could dry properly. After I moved all the furniture and cleaned the hard floors, we put the rug back in. I was a little worried because I felt like the rug was softer than before. I was concerned we washed some of the stiffness-that-keeps-the-rug-flat out. But after a day or so of walking on it, I can't tell the difference from before. Other than it is CLEAN. Yay!

We also painted an old dresser white and spray painted the hardware. It needed two new knobs at the top, so we just bought a couple cheap ones that were the exact wrong color because we were going to paint all the hardware anyway. We ended up spray painting our lamps as well. I think it all came out dandy.

Additionally, we put up some shelving that I had pulled from other parts of the house in the Baby's room to put her pretties on. She has pretties! Knick knacks and such. One of the shelves was a bathroom shelf that had a towel bar on the bottom. So I took some long ribbon and safety pins and made it into a bow holder. It looks great! I put a picture on Twitter. 

Next weekend, we plant two azaleas and two gardenias and mulch the flower beds. I should go do measurements to see how much it would cost to do those pretty pavers as a border. We still need to do more painting, but I am getting a quote on doing the interior. (Ack, worker people! But I am hoping this handy fella works out. We need so much stuff done. Skilled labor is necessary.) We can paint the porch ourselves.

I love home improvement stuff. We just don't have the skill set to do a whole whole lot. I love it like I love a full pantry. It just makes me feel warm and squishy and all grown up.

Friday Tidbits

• Went to visit a friend to give her pink baby things as she will have a pink flavored baby sometime this year. Felt sadish. Goodbye pink baby things.
• We have a new feral child in the neighborhood. I feel so sad for these kids. They are so...unparented. And I want to help them! But I also remember an old colleague of mine saying: Do not make your children the social experiment. Still, what do I do when this destructive child wants to play? Honestly, I watch him like a hawk and send him home at the first ruffle. Begone, problematic kid.
• Kids are exhausting. Honey and I are so freaking tired. Ug. So so tired. I would love to just go to bed and sleep for a million years. But the baby seems to be going through some nighttime separation anxiety. She doesn't actually want to nurse. She just wants me to hold her and rock her forever and ever and ever. Scooter wakes up and assumes the very first thing he must do is wake us. He is four! Surely he can...go play or something. Please kids, just five more minutes.
• We don't have major plans for the weekend. Or any plans, for that matter. I would really like to have a date with my husband to maybe go eat and go to the home improvement store. Saucy. Still, a date is a date. 
• Brother wants to have a friend spend the night. This is a nice friend. While they will stay up all night, they will do so mostly silently. A nice kid whose mother demands he come home at 9 AM and the friend just gets up and goes. At 9 AM. I am not sure Brother would get out of bed at 9 AM if the house was on fire. So, I told Brother clean the bathroom and the friend can stay. Zing! I feel clever, but really I am sure that most folks would just say, Duh. The bathroom is nasty and he is 14. Make him clean it already. 
• Honestly, the jury is still out as to whether he will actually clean the bathroom. The things I think should be carrots for this kid sometimes turn out to be something he could take or leave without a second glance.

Reread

I am a rereader. I find comfort in reading a story that I know I love and that I know what will happen next. Oh, I love discovering new books too! Just. I look for sentences and events that have stuck in my mind from previous reads. If in my haste of rereading, these events are missed, I go looking for them. I remember where they are.

A different flavor of rereading is when I forget a lot about the book. Like the old saying, I might not remember what exactly the book said, but I will remember the way it made me feel. Then! It is like an almost new story that I am guaranteed to like.

I recently read Sarah Addison Allen's new book, First Frost. I have always liked Allen's work. The language is the major pull and I have always had a soft spot for magical realism. I do, however, feel unsettled at how much gendered violence is in her novels. I keep in mind that her audience women and unfortunately, this is a part of our collective experience. It isn't graphic or gratuitous. A lot of authors use violence as a plot catalyst and I know I have a hypersensitivity towards it. Anyway, not what I was trying to say.

What I was trying to say is this: I love Allen's work. I love the language and how it is so quintessentially Southern. Poetic Southern Simile. I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and she said, "I worked two jobs. Not that it could make ends meet, but at least they could wave at each other." Like that. "Coffee so sweet it could kiss you back." Lovely.

My book buying philosophy is this: Books are like dresses. To ensure a perfect fit, one should try it on before buying. So I only buy books that I love so much, I want to reread them again and again. The rest I allow my public library to house for me. I was thinking that I would like to own a few of Allen's books. I think I have read everything she has written to date. I am particularly fond of The Sugar Queen. But then I read this new book, which was a sequel to Garden Spells. It was...fine, but it did change my view of her work as a whole. It alone out of all of her books does not make the reread list. I found it dull and wanted to quit 60 pages in.

There was one particularly dissatisfying plot line that had a strange ending that my concrete brain twisted to figure out how THAT was going to work. Anyway. This is a not recommend. Or, it is a: This author decided to make this early book into a series of sorts. If you loved the first book, you will likely want to know what happens next to the characters. But as the second movie is never as good as the first, so is this book. Not nearly as good as the first or as good as any of her other work to date.

Happy Golden Years

My teenager is not really a recluse. Sure, he spends hours upon hours holed up in his room, texting his friends or engaging in sleeping marathons. While the younger siblings basically worship the ground he walks upon, he rarely has patience for his brothers. He loves his little sister just so long as their interactions last less than five minutes. But when he and I are alone, he will not let me be. It is like he is three again with the demanding of attention.

Listen to this song I made.
Read this joke I found online.
Let me tell you the plot to this anime I have been watching.
Here is what insane thing happened at school today.

Today, he came into my room and laid on my bed and chatted with me. I will say, a lot of the time, he doesn't want me to actually answer him. He wants to talk AT me. The communication is very one way. I think perhaps I should be grateful he wants to talk to me and let me know what is going on with him. He jokes with me a lot. But he isn't such a fabulous listener.

I was a weird teenager who nearly never fought with my parents and spent most of my free time in church being as well behaved as I could fathom. I liked to spend time with my parents. Back then, I was still in the same role as listener. My parent's talked; I listened. Of course, my parents and I never argued on the level that Brother and I argue. Maybe that is just the way it is. We have had a contentious relationship since he was about 5 or 6. We both have strong personalities and a stubborn streak.  I was telling my folks the other day that there is no way any of the other kids will be this rough as teenagers. I got looks of pity. But a girl can hope, right?

Right.

Mental Stimulation

Well then! I guess I am starting on part two of our story, as it has been nearly two years since I have posted here. Goodness, what has happened in two years?

• I survived another year of public librarianship...and then quit!
• Because we decided to have another baby (FOUR KIDS!)
• It was a girl. She will be one in two months.
• She will be the last baby because STEPS were taken.
• When she was 3 months old, I was offered another library job in the same system.
• I decided to accept it with the caveat that I wouldn't start until 2016.
• Libraries are awesome. 
• My house has stayed pretty messy with the exception of a few months in my third trimester where it was just me and Scooter at home. 
• Then I basically lost interest. It was probably just nesting. Having time to keep a house clean does not equate to actual desire to clean the house. And I would maybe argue a bit with the 'time' thing. I don't feel like I have time. But I do sit on my tush a lot...
• I am still undesirably chunky. I would like to complain and bemoan this fact! Alas, I cannot find an appropriate forum for sympathy. Or support. Or whatever. I don't know what I want other than to not be me. 

I signed up for an online class to take and thank goodness it is free. I am excited about it and all, but am being foiled every time I try to watch a lecture or read an article. I thought maybe I could start blogging again for some mental stimulation. The main reason for which is that Honey said he always liked reading it. Well. I guess I could try again. After all, I am in desperate need of something thinky to do. I do read all the time, but when I have a good book the dishes REALLY suffer. So.

I am looking forward to going back to work and also pretty damn scared. What if I can't do it? What if I am so cooked at the end of the day, I can barely take care of the kids? I am hoping that I got rid of the tasks that were eating my brain and that my new tasks will be energizing rather than soul sucking. Some days I feel like I am wilting here at home. I want to make the most of the time I have left. It will be over before I know it. And while I am sure I will miss parts of it, I don't ever plan on doing it again barring any unforeseen circumstances.

Everything will likely work out just fine. It always does, right? Here's hoping!