So, as it happens most weekends, there were about 5 little boys in my living room playing video games. Keep in mind, I had to nimbly fend off puppy dog eyes for all of the morning and most of the afternoon to keep them out in the sunshine. The begging consists of wide eyes, clasped hands and much bouncing up and down. And puppy-like whining. But oh, the allure of the GameCube calls to their feeble little hearts and they press their noses up to the windows like teeny Olivers.
Honey and I are cooking in the kitchen, listening to the commentary. I am not sure how I feel about the wishing for "sudden death" and the level of violence in the game. We are usually super careful about the ratings of the video games, but Brother begged and begged for this one and all his friends had it...how bad could it be? Well. Bad enough that I feel guilty for buying it for him, even when it was his choice of a reward for good grades. It is such a tightrope act. The balance between cultivating a peaceful empathy towards others that shuns violence and not sheltering him to the point where when he is finally away from our control, he goes crazy and makes horrible decisions because he was never allowed to experience any vices within a controlled/safer environment. Also, you have to deal with the whole "forbidden fruit is always sweeter" and allowing him to have the same experiences as his peers.
I talk to him about this game and why I don't like some of the aspects. (This is the only one we own that I have any remote problem with.) I talk with him about a lot of subjects that my parents never touched on: religion, racism, sexuality, sexual violence, politics, gender equality, discrimination, gay rights, tolerance/acceptance, the environment and conservation. I have to temper these conversations with his age and putting things in ways he can understand and relate to. I also keep in mind that if I prattle too much, he will start tuning me out before he even hits those hard teen years. But I just want to be open with him. I want him to know that no subject is taboo; that he can talk to me about anything. And that he can disagree with me.
So, in the spirit of 'picking my battles', on the weekends, there is digital carnage in our living room. I hope this position of 'give' will enable his position of 'take' when it comes to The Big Stuff.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Camp Idontwanna
I feel like there are a million things I should be doing...and I don't want to do any of them. Not carve the pumpkins, not make Halloween costumes. Not call DC or find those articles or send that fax. Not finish those two homework assignments that are due. Not rinse out my lunch dishes.
Nothing. I want to do nothing. Blah.
I want to go home to my bed and open the windows so that the cool breeze and the warm sunshine filter in. I want to put on some comfy PJs, arrange some pillows, and prop myself up in bed with a cup of tea and a good book. I want to just relax and not have any responsibilities for a while.
This is impossible. Because I know that even if I went home and even if I settled down with a book that I would have to just get up in a small while and figure out dinner and then I would have to go pick up the kids and wrangle my homework and Brother's, because it has to be done. Kids get hungry. I get hungry. And I want an A, therefore homework must be done. I couldn't turn my mind off, even if I wanted to. In the end, I feel a little selfish even wanting a 'break'. I have a break every weekend, you know? Honey gives me plenty of time to read or nap or even go out if I wanted to. I think what is always pressing is what I have to do next, all the while making sure that I don't take advantage of my sweet husband's willing nature.
UG. Tell me. If you could do anything right now, just for you, what would it be? Let's pretend; shall we?
Nothing. I want to do nothing. Blah.
I want to go home to my bed and open the windows so that the cool breeze and the warm sunshine filter in. I want to put on some comfy PJs, arrange some pillows, and prop myself up in bed with a cup of tea and a good book. I want to just relax and not have any responsibilities for a while.
This is impossible. Because I know that even if I went home and even if I settled down with a book that I would have to just get up in a small while and figure out dinner and then I would have to go pick up the kids and wrangle my homework and Brother's, because it has to be done. Kids get hungry. I get hungry. And I want an A, therefore homework must be done. I couldn't turn my mind off, even if I wanted to. In the end, I feel a little selfish even wanting a 'break'. I have a break every weekend, you know? Honey gives me plenty of time to read or nap or even go out if I wanted to. I think what is always pressing is what I have to do next, all the while making sure that I don't take advantage of my sweet husband's willing nature.
UG. Tell me. If you could do anything right now, just for you, what would it be? Let's pretend; shall we?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Won't You Please?
Please, won't you, please?
Please, won't you be...my neighbor.
Hi, Neighborhood of Bloggy Friends! I need some help figuring out better ways to cook delicious things for my family on a budget. I am thinking of tried and true, easy recipes that don't require expensive ingredients or gobs of time. Particularly, I am looking for something to quell the cries of, "Poptart!" in the morning, sang by the wee Bean. As Poptarts are expensive. And not overly good for you. And not what I really want to be shoving into my kids at 7 AM.
Yesterday I made Swistle's Apple Bread and mama mia, it was really so so good. So I am thinking things like that. Quickbreads? Maybe a favorite muffin recipe? Or a good "middle of the week" dessert? Or something that is easily tucked away for lunches? Breakfast-on-the-go-snack-type-foods.
So, can you help me out? You are welcome to post in the comments, but you can email me if you want to be shy/don't want to type all that bologna in that teeny white box. Misty . OurHouse (at) Yahoo (dot) com.
Please, won't you be...my neighbor.
Hi, Neighborhood of Bloggy Friends! I need some help figuring out better ways to cook delicious things for my family on a budget. I am thinking of tried and true, easy recipes that don't require expensive ingredients or gobs of time. Particularly, I am looking for something to quell the cries of, "Poptart!" in the morning, sang by the wee Bean. As Poptarts are expensive. And not overly good for you. And not what I really want to be shoving into my kids at 7 AM.
Yesterday I made Swistle's Apple Bread and mama mia, it was really so so good. So I am thinking things like that. Quickbreads? Maybe a favorite muffin recipe? Or a good "middle of the week" dessert? Or something that is easily tucked away for lunches? Breakfast-on-the-go-snack-type-foods.
So, can you help me out? You are welcome to post in the comments, but you can email me if you want to be shy/don't want to type all that bologna in that teeny white box. Misty . OurHouse (at) Yahoo (dot) com.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Home Life
I stayed home yesterday as it was glorious Columbus! Day! and my office takes federal holidays? State holidays? Bank holidays? Meh, we get off every time someone somewhere declared it "Something Day." But I don't care. I stayed home with the kids. I kept Brother home from school...don't tell anyone.
I love these days when I am home with them on a weekday, hanging out in my jammies and reading stories. Deciding whose turn it is to watch Yo Gabba Gabba or Pokemon. Making breakfast and watching my boys sit down together to eat at the table. Hearing Brother yell, "HEY! He's stealing my cereal!" as Jelly Bean lays on the table, feet in the air, reaching to scarf Brother's food while Jelly's bowl lays unattended. It feels like these days are stolen out of time and are entirely too too precious. I am so much more patient on these sorts of days. I feel like there is some sanctity in them that can't be marred by shouting or fussing. Like, I am just so damn lucky to be here that I dare not take even one second for granted.
Like yesterday Brother pulled out his very loose front tooth. "Mom! You have to quite calling me 'Snaggletooth!" as blood drips down onto his shirt. And Jelly Bean was in the backyard beating up my bell pepper plants. And when I said, "Gentle!", he actually hugged the plant to say he was sorry. Sitting in this desk everyday causes me to miss so much and I feel it. I know what I am missing.
Honey gets upset sometimes to lament how we can't live on just one salary. Namely, his salary. He knows I want to stay home with the boys. But this is not the way it is. When he gets into these moods, I tell him this: YOU are not the provider for this family. WE are the providers for this family. We made this life together and it is a good life. We based this life around two incomes. Now we both have to work to pay these bills. There is nothing wrong with that. There is honor in getting up everyday and going to work to support my family. Sometimes I believe this more than others, but today I believe it wholeheartedly, albeit a little sadly.
The whole thing in a nutshell and why I am going on and on about is this: I am not sure this career move I have planned is going to work out. I am not sure I can fit into the new organizational culture or assume the role that I would be assigned. Therefore, having all that extra time off I was planning on is most likely not going to work out. And, as a librarian working full time, I won't find better hours and benefits than where I am right now. That being said, the third child I was absolutely sure I wanted? That sureness is fading. In a way, I feel like maybe it is time to consider that part of my life over and just focus on making a future for the kids I do have. Truthfully, I am not sure I am strong enough to go through it all over again. The handing over yet another one of my beautiful and precious children to be raised in a daycare.
So, that is what I am considering today and for the past few days. Life decisions. And a la Jess: What have you been thinking about lately? Help me fix my gaze somewhere other than my navel. :)
I love these days when I am home with them on a weekday, hanging out in my jammies and reading stories. Deciding whose turn it is to watch Yo Gabba Gabba or Pokemon. Making breakfast and watching my boys sit down together to eat at the table. Hearing Brother yell, "HEY! He's stealing my cereal!" as Jelly Bean lays on the table, feet in the air, reaching to scarf Brother's food while Jelly's bowl lays unattended. It feels like these days are stolen out of time and are entirely too too precious. I am so much more patient on these sorts of days. I feel like there is some sanctity in them that can't be marred by shouting or fussing. Like, I am just so damn lucky to be here that I dare not take even one second for granted.
Like yesterday Brother pulled out his very loose front tooth. "Mom! You have to quite calling me 'Snaggletooth!" as blood drips down onto his shirt. And Jelly Bean was in the backyard beating up my bell pepper plants. And when I said, "Gentle!", he actually hugged the plant to say he was sorry. Sitting in this desk everyday causes me to miss so much and I feel it. I know what I am missing.
Honey gets upset sometimes to lament how we can't live on just one salary. Namely, his salary. He knows I want to stay home with the boys. But this is not the way it is. When he gets into these moods, I tell him this: YOU are not the provider for this family. WE are the providers for this family. We made this life together and it is a good life. We based this life around two incomes. Now we both have to work to pay these bills. There is nothing wrong with that. There is honor in getting up everyday and going to work to support my family. Sometimes I believe this more than others, but today I believe it wholeheartedly, albeit a little sadly.
The whole thing in a nutshell and why I am going on and on about is this: I am not sure this career move I have planned is going to work out. I am not sure I can fit into the new organizational culture or assume the role that I would be assigned. Therefore, having all that extra time off I was planning on is most likely not going to work out. And, as a librarian working full time, I won't find better hours and benefits than where I am right now. That being said, the third child I was absolutely sure I wanted? That sureness is fading. In a way, I feel like maybe it is time to consider that part of my life over and just focus on making a future for the kids I do have. Truthfully, I am not sure I am strong enough to go through it all over again. The handing over yet another one of my beautiful and precious children to be raised in a daycare.
So, that is what I am considering today and for the past few days. Life decisions. And a la Jess: What have you been thinking about lately? Help me fix my gaze somewhere other than my navel. :)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Young Love
It has happened. I admit, I have been taken by surprise. I didn't think it could happen this soon. I didn't think it could happen to me. Alas...
This female has stolen my little boy's heart.
Jelly Bean had seemingly slept late today and I have meetings this afternoon, so it was a 'dress up for work' day. I did my makeup and fixed my hair and went to go wake a teeny Bean. When I got into his room, he was awake and playing with toys in his crib. He said, "Yook! MawMaw, Yook!" as he waved her about. "FOOFA!"
See, he doesn't even know my name. He had a daycare teacher who had the children call her "MawMaw" which is a term for grandmother where I live. But Jelly now calls me "MawMaw" no matter how much I correct him to say "Mommy", (which he CAN say, he just chooses not to.) You notice he can pronounce "Foofa" with no problems though, eh?
So, I take him to get him dressed and he frets when I make him put Foofa down so that I can put on his shirt. He loves Foofa. He gives her mooches and snuggles. Then he looks up at me with shining eyes and says, "MawMaw, Foofa rocks."
*Ouch*
I am going to be a terrible mother in law. I can see it now.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I'm in Sales
There are so many times when parents or pregnant women say, "No one ever told me..." Well, as a parent, no one ever told me that I was going to have to take on a second sales job simply by virtue of procreating.
This is the time of year for fundraisers, apparently. Both Brother's school and Jelly Bean's daycare have sent home things for us to dump on our family in exchange for cold hard cash. And we don't really have any family around, sadly. My poor parents. Pity them. Now, due to my new found knowledge (Thank you, University!) of how crappily schools are funded in this state, I didn't even groan when Brother brought home a box of gargantuan chocolate bars for two dollars a piece. No, what I did was call my mother and proceed to strong arm her into buying a slew of them. It went down not unlike a certain 700 billion dollar deal.
Me: So, Brother is selling chocolate bars. How many do you want?
Mom: Um, can I just give you $10 and you keep the chocolate?
Me: No. How many employees does Dad have?
Mom: Um, how about I buy 5?
Me: What? 15 bars? No. How many employees does Dad have?
Mom: You know he won't sell stuff to his employees.
Me: I am not asking him to sell it to them. I want him to buy it and give it to them. So, 15?
Now, this morning, Jelly Bean's daycare sent home a catalog of cheap Chinese shit that is entirely overpriced. I bitchily told the little college girl at the daycare who watches my kid all day that, "We will not be participating." But it isn't true. (Do you do that? Get perturbed right off the bat and say something that you won't follow through on? Does this make me a liar?) I will probably drag the catalog over to my mom's and give her the old puppy eyes. Even though I think it is ridiculous that I have to pay these people to take care of my kid and also sell stuff so they can buy Halloween decorations or some other frivolity. Like toilet paper. Or food.
But, I like the Halloween decorations. (Shrug)
And yesterday, Brother's teacher sends home a photocopy of some craft projects she wants to do for the holidays, but doesn't have the money for. She sent home the prices for the kits and it would cost less than $10 for the entire class to make snowman magnets or little stocking tree ornaments. But she doesn't have the money. *Sigh* So, I shelled out $5 and sent it in an envelope. Who says public education is free? Who?
This is the time of year for fundraisers, apparently. Both Brother's school and Jelly Bean's daycare have sent home things for us to dump on our family in exchange for cold hard cash. And we don't really have any family around, sadly. My poor parents. Pity them. Now, due to my new found knowledge (Thank you, University!) of how crappily schools are funded in this state, I didn't even groan when Brother brought home a box of gargantuan chocolate bars for two dollars a piece. No, what I did was call my mother and proceed to strong arm her into buying a slew of them. It went down not unlike a certain 700 billion dollar deal.
Me: So, Brother is selling chocolate bars. How many do you want?
Mom: Um, can I just give you $10 and you keep the chocolate?
Me: No. How many employees does Dad have?
Mom: Um, how about I buy 5?
Me: What? 15 bars? No. How many employees does Dad have?
Mom: You know he won't sell stuff to his employees.
Me: I am not asking him to sell it to them. I want him to buy it and give it to them. So, 15?
Now, this morning, Jelly Bean's daycare sent home a catalog of cheap Chinese shit that is entirely overpriced. I bitchily told the little college girl at the daycare who watches my kid all day that, "We will not be participating." But it isn't true. (Do you do that? Get perturbed right off the bat and say something that you won't follow through on? Does this make me a liar?) I will probably drag the catalog over to my mom's and give her the old puppy eyes. Even though I think it is ridiculous that I have to pay these people to take care of my kid and also sell stuff so they can buy Halloween decorations or some other frivolity. Like toilet paper. Or food.
But, I like the Halloween decorations. (Shrug)
And yesterday, Brother's teacher sends home a photocopy of some craft projects she wants to do for the holidays, but doesn't have the money for. She sent home the prices for the kits and it would cost less than $10 for the entire class to make snowman magnets or little stocking tree ornaments. But she doesn't have the money. *Sigh* So, I shelled out $5 and sent it in an envelope. Who says public education is free? Who?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Dismay
So, yesterday I had a bout of barfing flu/food poisoning/stomach mayhem. Honey had it too. And we *thought* the Jelly Bean had it as well, so we kept him home from the daycare. But to our dismay (YES! Dismay!) the baby was seemingly fine and jumpy and happy and...had two parents with the barfing flu/food poisoning/stomach mayhem.
Can you see where the dismay comes in?
So, Honey and I took turns lying in bed and being dead while the other parent watched Yo Gabba Gabba 80 bazillion times and heard pleas of "Ow-Ti!" but could not drag his/her leaden body into the bright sunshine and heat. Misery, I tell you.
On the upside! I am crazy and masochistic because it is like the super 24 hour diet! I lost like 5 pounds! Awesome. (No hatin'. I know it is mostly water and I have likely gained it all back by now. Meh.)
What was kind of funny is the thoughts I was having as I was vomiting into our less than pristine toilet. (And I have a thing about vomiting into clean toilets. It is preferred. Can I get an A-men?) "OMG, do I seriously want to get pregnant again? And feel like this? For three freaking whole months?" Bleahhhhh.
Speaking of dismay, my little "good child" who won the school award last week for excellent behavior? Got into a fist fight. At the bus stop. This morning. Over who was first in line. *Le Sigh* But in his defense...well, he participated. There isn't a whole lot to say in his defense other than he can't fight and the other kid is an asshole and Brother was the one who was crying so hysterically that he couldn't even get on the bus and I have to drive him to school and get him to quit hyperventilating. I think it is only natural that I am angry at the other kid. Brother shouldn't have pushed him back. He shouldn't have pinched him. I keep trying to teach him to walk away and get a grown-up. If he stays there, the situation just escalates beyond Brother's limit and he can't handle it. Plus, the other kid is an asshole. Did I mention that?
His punishment? In part, to be at the end of the line to get on the bus for the rest of the week. To teach him it doesn't freaking matter. I wonder if it will work. I will figure out the rest later.
Can you see where the dismay comes in?
So, Honey and I took turns lying in bed and being dead while the other parent watched Yo Gabba Gabba 80 bazillion times and heard pleas of "Ow-Ti!" but could not drag his/her leaden body into the bright sunshine and heat. Misery, I tell you.
On the upside! I am crazy and masochistic because it is like the super 24 hour diet! I lost like 5 pounds! Awesome. (No hatin'. I know it is mostly water and I have likely gained it all back by now. Meh.)
What was kind of funny is the thoughts I was having as I was vomiting into our less than pristine toilet. (And I have a thing about vomiting into clean toilets. It is preferred. Can I get an A-men?) "OMG, do I seriously want to get pregnant again? And feel like this? For three freaking whole months?" Bleahhhhh.
Speaking of dismay, my little "good child" who won the school award last week for excellent behavior? Got into a fist fight. At the bus stop. This morning. Over who was first in line. *Le Sigh* But in his defense...well, he participated. There isn't a whole lot to say in his defense other than he can't fight and the other kid is an asshole and Brother was the one who was crying so hysterically that he couldn't even get on the bus and I have to drive him to school and get him to quit hyperventilating. I think it is only natural that I am angry at the other kid. Brother shouldn't have pushed him back. He shouldn't have pinched him. I keep trying to teach him to walk away and get a grown-up. If he stays there, the situation just escalates beyond Brother's limit and he can't handle it. Plus, the other kid is an asshole. Did I mention that?
His punishment? In part, to be at the end of the line to get on the bus for the rest of the week. To teach him it doesn't freaking matter. I wonder if it will work. I will figure out the rest later.
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