I have an ultrasound tomorrow to see if the little alien in my abdomen has decided to grow any and maybe catch up with his gestational age. I always seem to gain a bunch of weight right around...now. And I have been supremely hungry. Like oh-my-freaking-god-if-I-don't-eat-RIGHT-NOW-someone-is-going-to-die hungry. So, hopefully I am growing the baby and not just me.
Just two days ago I started to feel him move on the outside, like with my hand. And you can watch my tum move, too. Fun. Like the best part. Last night I went to go see Wicked with a friend of mine and he either loved it or hated it, as expressed by him doing the Macarena on my bladder all through Act II. Of course, it could have been he was working out all his energy from the copious amounts of dinner I had consumed.
The same friend I went to the show with has offered to throw me a "sprinkle" and I have accepted. I know I said I didn't want one, because I wanted to buy stuff for myself. But frankly, this is the first party in my life someone has asked to have for me. I did all the work for my first shower and the second one, I was whining about how I really NEEDED a shower and then she offered to have one for me. (No judgements on my manners, please. I was griping with no end in mind was genuinely surprised when she offered. Really!) Not really the same as someone approaching you and offering, you know? And since we had a shotgun-type wedding, I didn't get a bridal shower of any sort and only a vague ghost of a reception. All that aside, I am going to make the guest list short and sweet and the invite will have something on it cutesy about gifts not being mandatory. Maybe this?
If you'd like to bring a gift, try a necessity
But if you'd rather not, please just come enjoy the company!
Too perky? Necessities being stuff like diapers, wipes, bibs, baby socks (because they evaporate), etc. I am pretty much insisting on the 'sprinkle' and the loosey goosey attitude on gifts because, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but people on the Internets can get down right vicious when it comes to a baby shower for a second or third child. Like, basically they are referring to the mother-to-be as a gold-digging present whore. Yikes! Is it really all that awful to want to have a small little get together when you are pregnant to celebrate a new sweetie little baby and coo over teensy diapers? I don't know.
We are still stuck on a name. The name Honey likes sounds a little aristocratic to me and incorporates a family name from his side. Well, the last kid got a family name from his side and I kinda want to use a family name from my side this time. At the same time, this is our last baby and I don't want him to be disappointed that he didn't get to use this one name he wanted to use. Maybe I can get him a fish and let him name the fish this name. But he has to clean the tank.
This post has crappy transitions and is fuzzy. Much like my brain these days.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Mishmash
Pregnancy is not glamorous. While I do love my protruding belly and the little fishy flopping feelings in my tum, I am having a hard time not peeing on myself. Also? Heartburn is so much worse this time. Imagine having to put a colleague on hold to wince through the pain. Yuck. I woke myself up *repeatedly* last night snoring. Am sexy beast, no? I ask Honey, "Why don't you poke me or something??" He says it is cute. One more item to cast on the pile of evidence mounting against his sanity.
Pregnancy is..
It is...
Just not ladylike.
~~~~~
There was TAP meeting last night and we elected an entire new Board! And I'm not on it! Can I even convey how exciting this is for me? And apparently we are in the running to win some sort of award from the State TAP because our membership is so high for a new program? Guess who is the Membership Chair. That would be ME. Guess I didn't do such a crappy job after all. Who knew?
~~~~~
I am struggling with feeling disappointed about the whole 'third son' thing. I want to talk about it, but it feels so awful to even think such things. Shame on me, I know. I do know better. Still, this was my last hurrah. You only get one life and in this life, I will not have a daughter. Anyway, that is all I am going to say about that. I feel like such a snotty, ungrateful bitch for even thinking it.
~~~~~
The construction has started on Our House. I wanted to take pictures and do this whole blow by blow reporting on it....and I haven't. Now, the foundation isn't even poured yet. There is still time! But between play rehearsal and TAP meetings and conferences and work, I haven't even grocery shopped...well, I can't tell you the last time I grocery shopped.
~~~~~
Brother is in a play. Did I tell you Brother was in a play? Well he is. And intellectually, I always knew that plays are time consuming. But, DUDE. I was not prepared for the actual time-suck of the reality. But it will be over soon..by the end of the month there will be no more play. And we can do homework before 8 o'clock at night! And I might actually see my kid! Literally, I have gone into his room at night the past two nights just to make sure he is there, because...he is never ever home. What if I left him at rehearsal? AHHH!
Did I mention I have nighttime anxiety? I have nighttime anxiety.
~~~~~
The weather is lovely here. There are camellias and flowering pears and I can see daffodils blooming on my drive home. Sometimes, I simply love living in the South.
Pregnancy is..
It is...
Just not ladylike.
~~~~~
There was TAP meeting last night and we elected an entire new Board! And I'm not on it! Can I even convey how exciting this is for me? And apparently we are in the running to win some sort of award from the State TAP because our membership is so high for a new program? Guess who is the Membership Chair. That would be ME. Guess I didn't do such a crappy job after all. Who knew?
~~~~~
I am struggling with feeling disappointed about the whole 'third son' thing. I want to talk about it, but it feels so awful to even think such things. Shame on me, I know. I do know better. Still, this was my last hurrah. You only get one life and in this life, I will not have a daughter. Anyway, that is all I am going to say about that. I feel like such a snotty, ungrateful bitch for even thinking it.
~~~~~
The construction has started on Our House. I wanted to take pictures and do this whole blow by blow reporting on it....and I haven't. Now, the foundation isn't even poured yet. There is still time! But between play rehearsal and TAP meetings and conferences and work, I haven't even grocery shopped...well, I can't tell you the last time I grocery shopped.
~~~~~
Brother is in a play. Did I tell you Brother was in a play? Well he is. And intellectually, I always knew that plays are time consuming. But, DUDE. I was not prepared for the actual time-suck of the reality. But it will be over soon..by the end of the month there will be no more play. And we can do homework before 8 o'clock at night! And I might actually see my kid! Literally, I have gone into his room at night the past two nights just to make sure he is there, because...he is never ever home. What if I left him at rehearsal? AHHH!
Did I mention I have nighttime anxiety? I have nighttime anxiety.
~~~~~
The weather is lovely here. There are camellias and flowering pears and I can see daffodils blooming on my drive home. Sometimes, I simply love living in the South.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Boy, that was tough.
Whew! So, where have I been? Well. Mostly depressed and scared and lying in a ditch. Ok, not so much that last one.
So, tell me. Did you have a quad screen? Scary-your-baby-has-birth-defect screening? Well, I didn't have it for either of the boys, but I have been so weird about this pregnancy that Honey said, why not have the test? Then it will come back fine and you will feel better about the pregnancy! Right? Right.
Except, I failed it.
One in 55 chance of Down Syndrome.
And even though I knew it was just a screening, those seemed like rather high odds to me. Sooo, I panicked. I tried not to. I tried to wait and see. But no. See, Me = Control Freak. This = Situation in Which I Have No Control. So, bad. Anyway, as fast as the Perinatologist would see me, I was in his office and hour away having an ultrasound with a really heavy handed tech. (Ouch!) I didn't watch. I didn't want to know the sex. I just counted ceiling tiles. The Perinatologist told me that the OB's office put in the wrong due date (!!!!) and that it was really 1 in 197, not 1 in 55. Still high enough odds to need additional screening/testing, so I am only moderately miffed at my practice. And then he offered me the amniocentesis. I got the amnio.
He was really a nice guy and reminded me of a Muppet (a cross between Sam the Eagle and Beaker) but he really bombarded me with information. The baby was small, and therefore had a shorter femur than would be expected at this gestational age, which is a soft marker for Down (the femur thing, not necessarily being small). However! The baby is small. Therefore my due date could be later than it was originally noted AND the stupid OB practice had made my due date nearly two weeks earlier than it is currently and that would have screwed with the screening ....Anyway, I couldn't imagine going into that appointment without having done enough research to understand what he was talking about and my options, you know? I knew when I walked in the door that there was nothing he could say to me that would make me not want the amino. I had played a million scenarios in my head and knew what I wanted. I wanted to know, for sure, no doubts. And so I did it. And TV makes that look soooooo much worse than it really is. I have had blood drawn with more fear and pain.
Anyway, then you wait for two anxiety-filled weeks until they tell you what the results are. They have to culture the cells and these things take time. I literally told the nurse "that's crappy" when she mentioned it. Two Weeks. We didn't tell anyone what was going on, except my mom and dad. I had to (chose to) spend two weeks acting like nothing was wrong and I just didn't have the energy to do it here as well.
And yesterday was the end of the two weeks. And everything is fine. All the little chromosomes are where they are supposed to be and everything is fine. Insert HUGE SIGH of RELIEF. And we found out the sex.
We're having a boy.
So, tell me. Did you have a quad screen? Scary-your-baby-has-birth-defect screening? Well, I didn't have it for either of the boys, but I have been so weird about this pregnancy that Honey said, why not have the test? Then it will come back fine and you will feel better about the pregnancy! Right? Right.
Except, I failed it.
One in 55 chance of Down Syndrome.
And even though I knew it was just a screening, those seemed like rather high odds to me. Sooo, I panicked. I tried not to. I tried to wait and see. But no. See, Me = Control Freak. This = Situation in Which I Have No Control. So, bad. Anyway, as fast as the Perinatologist would see me, I was in his office and hour away having an ultrasound with a really heavy handed tech. (Ouch!) I didn't watch. I didn't want to know the sex. I just counted ceiling tiles. The Perinatologist told me that the OB's office put in the wrong due date (!!!!) and that it was really 1 in 197, not 1 in 55. Still high enough odds to need additional screening/testing, so I am only moderately miffed at my practice. And then he offered me the amniocentesis. I got the amnio.
He was really a nice guy and reminded me of a Muppet (a cross between Sam the Eagle and Beaker) but he really bombarded me with information. The baby was small, and therefore had a shorter femur than would be expected at this gestational age, which is a soft marker for Down (the femur thing, not necessarily being small). However! The baby is small. Therefore my due date could be later than it was originally noted AND the stupid OB practice had made my due date nearly two weeks earlier than it is currently and that would have screwed with the screening ....Anyway, I couldn't imagine going into that appointment without having done enough research to understand what he was talking about and my options, you know? I knew when I walked in the door that there was nothing he could say to me that would make me not want the amino. I had played a million scenarios in my head and knew what I wanted. I wanted to know, for sure, no doubts. And so I did it. And TV makes that look soooooo much worse than it really is. I have had blood drawn with more fear and pain.
Anyway, then you wait for two anxiety-filled weeks until they tell you what the results are. They have to culture the cells and these things take time. I literally told the nurse "that's crappy" when she mentioned it. Two Weeks. We didn't tell anyone what was going on, except my mom and dad. I had to (chose to) spend two weeks acting like nothing was wrong and I just didn't have the energy to do it here as well.
And yesterday was the end of the two weeks. And everything is fine. All the little chromosomes are where they are supposed to be and everything is fine. Insert HUGE SIGH of RELIEF. And we found out the sex.
We're having a boy.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It must be cramped in there...
So, this morning I am putting on my makeup and Jelly Bean is standing on the toilet watching me.
*FLUSH*
JB: Mommy, what's that?
Me: Mascara. It's not for kids.
JB: I'm a kid and Brother's a kid and Daddy's a kid?
Me: Daddy is not a kid, but most of the time, boys don't wear makeup.
*FLUSH*
Me: Jelly, quit flushing the toilet for no reason! It's wasteful. Save some water for the animals and fish who need it. (Thinking of the old Sesame Street cartoon.)
JB: Why?
Me: Because there is only so much water in the world. Save some for the animals.
JB: Animals? Like Giraffes?
Me: Yes! (Thinking: Whee! He GETS IT!)
JB: And crocodiles?
Me: Yes, those too!
JB: There are animals in the toilet?
Me: *Stunned Look* Um, no.
((Launch into diatribe on conservation. Get blank looks from three-year-old.))
...Anyway, just quit flushing the toilet.
((We go to get shoes on.))
Me: Jelly Bean, come here and sit down to put on shoes.
((Jelly Bean proceeds to run 20 feet away from me and sit down.))
Me: No, come HERE. I have your shoes.
JB: *walks over* Why? Because there are animals in the toilet?
Me: Let's go to school.
JB: Why?
*FLUSH*
JB: Mommy, what's that?
Me: Mascara. It's not for kids.
JB: I'm a kid and Brother's a kid and Daddy's a kid?
Me: Daddy is not a kid, but most of the time, boys don't wear makeup.
*FLUSH*
Me: Jelly, quit flushing the toilet for no reason! It's wasteful. Save some water for the animals and fish who need it. (Thinking of the old Sesame Street cartoon.)
JB: Why?
Me: Because there is only so much water in the world. Save some for the animals.
JB: Animals? Like Giraffes?
Me: Yes! (Thinking: Whee! He GETS IT!)
JB: And crocodiles?
Me: Yes, those too!
JB: There are animals in the toilet?
Me: *Stunned Look* Um, no.
((Launch into diatribe on conservation. Get blank looks from three-year-old.))
...Anyway, just quit flushing the toilet.
((We go to get shoes on.))
Me: Jelly Bean, come here and sit down to put on shoes.
((Jelly Bean proceeds to run 20 feet away from me and sit down.))
Me: No, come HERE. I have your shoes.
JB: *walks over* Why? Because there are animals in the toilet?
Me: Let's go to school.
JB: Why?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Monday Blues
- I am suffering from the Monday blues. Not sure the calendar reading "Tuesday" is really going to improve this.
- My ass is numb. Walking around might be in order.
- The bottled water thing is empty. I would stop being a lazy slacker and go get a new one, but I know that if I do this highly inadvisable thing - lifting a bazillion pound/five gallon water bottle - there will be much pain and I will regret it.
- I avoid lifting my three-year-old for this very reason. *Ouch* Not that he is a bazillion pounds or a water bottle of any sort...
- I have chocolate covered chocolate chip granola bars in my office. This does not cheer me.
- Will go steal yummy dove chocolates from co-worker's office. Will not feel guilty about it.
- Have emailed said co-worker to inform her of thievery and my lack of guilt. And to inform her that she is partly culpable for being at a conference while I am stuck in the office.
- Get reply that she doesn't care and I am pillage her stash at will.
- Decide co-worker is slight wacko, even if generous wacko.
- Just got a call from annoying cheery guy. Wish annoying cheery guy would not call so much.
- It's raining and cold. Is there anything worse than wet and cold? Perhaps I was a cat in a previous life.
- Do not really believe in 'previous lives'. So, scratch that last bit.
- Is it Friday yet?
- Tell me something great going on in your life right now. Will make us both feel better.
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