Boy, that was tough.

Whew! So, where have I been? Well. Mostly depressed and scared and lying in a ditch. Ok, not so much that last one.

So, tell me. Did you have a quad screen? Scary-your-baby-has-birth-defect screening? Well, I didn't have it for either of the boys, but I have been so weird about this pregnancy that Honey said, why not have the test? Then it will come back fine and you will feel better about the pregnancy! Right? Right.

Except, I failed it.

One in 55 chance of Down Syndrome.

And even though I knew it was just a screening, those seemed like rather high odds to me. Sooo, I panicked. I tried not to. I tried to wait and see. But no. See, Me = Control Freak. This = Situation in Which I Have No Control. So, bad. Anyway, as fast as the Perinatologist would see me, I was in his office and hour away having an ultrasound with a really heavy handed tech. (Ouch!) I didn't watch. I didn't want to know the sex. I just counted ceiling tiles. The Perinatologist told me that the OB's office put in the wrong due date (!!!!) and that it was really 1 in 197, not 1 in 55. Still high enough odds to need additional screening/testing, so I am only moderately miffed at my practice. And then he offered me the amniocentesis. I got the amnio.

He was really a nice guy and reminded me of a Muppet (a cross between Sam the Eagle and Beaker) but he really bombarded me with information. The baby was small, and therefore had a shorter femur than would be expected at this gestational age, which is a soft marker for Down (the femur thing, not necessarily being small). However! The baby is small. Therefore my due date could be later than it was originally noted AND the stupid OB practice had made my due date nearly two weeks earlier than it is currently and that would have screwed with the screening ....Anyway, I couldn't imagine going into that appointment without having done enough research to understand what he was talking about and my options, you know? I knew when I walked in the door that there was nothing he could say to me that would make me not want the amino. I had played a million scenarios in my head and knew what I wanted. I wanted to know, for sure, no doubts. And so I did it. And TV makes that look soooooo much worse than it really is. I have had blood drawn with more fear and pain.

Anyway, then you wait for two anxiety-filled weeks until they tell you what the results are. They have to culture the cells and these things take time. I literally told the nurse "that's crappy" when she mentioned it. Two Weeks. We didn't tell anyone what was going on, except my mom and dad. I had to (chose to) spend two weeks acting like nothing was wrong and I just didn't have the energy to do it here as well.

And yesterday was the end of the two weeks. And everything is fine. All the little chromosomes are where they are supposed to be and everything is fine. Insert HUGE SIGH of RELIEF. And we found out the sex.

We're having a boy.