Anyway, I know I need to start exercising. I did have the goal of running the 5k this year, even if it is all by my own self, but my adventure in running lasted about two sessions before being unable to walk for 3 weeks due to debilitating knee pain. I feel like it was too much stress on my joints and starting with something too difficult too soon. I used to take dance classes before I got pregnant and really loved them. They gave me a sense of peace and well being. Like, when I walked into the studio, everything fell away. I didn't have to worry or stress about the outside world. The entire world was in that room and all I had to do was follow the instructor. Someone else was the boss. I could be the follower.
Unfortunately, my instructor moved away. I had fully intended on returning to classes after Scooter was a bit more self-sufficient (read: not nursing every 5 minutes), but this didn't work out. Now I am looking at some fitness classes locally which are pretty inexpensive. But I am terrified of going. Mostly because I don't know what is going to happen. How do I register? How do I pay? Do I go in 15 minutes in advance? What if there is another class going on then and I interrupt? Will they have a receptionist? How formal is this? What if the gym is a bad fit for me? Should I not be spending this money on myself? What if no one else shows up for the class but me? What if the class is so full I can't move? What do I wear? What if the kids need me? What if....what if...
I hate to admit that sometimes I am paralyzed by fear. Most times I can just power through, pretending to feel confident when I don't. Fake it 'till you make it, right? I think having control issues both hinders and helps. I am scared because I don't know what is going to happen and therefore have no control. But I get through it because I figure I can control my own reactions to whatever happens.
So, I am going to bite the bullet and go to the class tomorrow. I can do this. I can do anything, right? Right.
4 comments:
Yes, you can do it. & you'll be awesome!!!
I am the same way with trying new things, going new places, & being out of control type situations.
You can do it!
I have those fears, too. I signed up for a yoga class but didn't go because I didn't know if I would be the worst one there and didn't know what to bring and how in shape I should be and...etc. It could go on forever! But I think these things never change or go away unless we keep challenging ourselves and proving our fear wrong. At least, that's the way I hope it works!
I am the exact same way with new things. One reason I have so much fun with my brother and SIL is that they don't get nervous about such things, so I can just follow them. And almost every single time I DO do one of these things that makes me nervous, I end up thinking, "Hey! That went FINE!" Somehow this doesn't really affect the NEXT batch of fears.
The best tool in my Cope Box is starting out by going in looking all nervous and Obviously New. Then I approach someone (an employee if there are some, another customer if not) and say all awkward-but-friendly, "Hi! Um, I've never been here before and I don't know how it works!" I've found MOST people will jump RIGHT IN with help and explanations. If they don't, or if they just look at me like they don't know what to say, I have an example ready: "Like, I'm signed up for dance? at 1:00? but I don't know how to figure out which room is mine. And is that the LAST class in there now, or am I late?" (I would say that even if I knew I wasn't late.)
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