Shell It Out

So, last year Brother's teacher told me that she thought he might have ADD. While at first I was reluctant to believe that, I did have to admit that he did have some signs/trouble paying attention in class. Mostly just spacing out and not doing his work. I talked with his doctor and he told me that we could do a battery of testing, but what it would come down to in the end was whether I wanted to put him on medication. We had a discussion as a family and since Brother makes the honor roll with more A's than B's consistently, we didn't feel like medical intervention was the right choice at the time. We informed the doctor and the teacher that we were going to wait and see if he could mature over the summer a bit and maybe get through this without medication.

The summer was lovely. Blissful. It is AMAZING how our quality of life changes when there is no homework to fight over and plow through every night. And school started and...Brother started having problems the second week. Not doing his work. Not paying attention. I had a mini nervous breakdown. We were not in a position to afford the $250.00 medication for ADD. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I decided to start paying him for good behavior.

This was a drastic move on my part. I grew up in a house where monetary incentives were basically frowned upon. I didn't get allowance, but was not expected to do many chores either... which is probably why my house is a disaster, but that's another story. When I came home with all A's once in high school, I foolishly asked what I got for all my efforts...and was told I get to eat and live in this house. Heh. (And oh, can you just imagine my parent's disapproval when they found out about this little scheme? It was something to behold...from another room.) Basically for writing down his homework in the proper place under the correct date and for not getting a number marked on his calendar (the school's 'note to parent' methodology of choice), he gets a dollar. Most months that is about $20.00 which is a far cry from the cost and mental anguish of putting my child on drugs.

The thing is that I need some proof he can't do it on his own. I need to know there are no other strategies that can be employed before we go that route. I need to know that he has a medical condition that requires medicine and is not...just being a lazy normal kid. So, when he comes home and shows me his homework planner with no numbers and correct homework, he gets a dollar. "Another day, another dollar!" is something we say a lot in our house. And it is working. Not perfectly, but it is working. There are days when he doesn't write down his homework or when he is chatting with friends in class and gets a number. But that is normal, in my opinion and this strategy is effective for us, for now.

Lovely Disclaimer: Of course, this is just what is working for our family. Some children need different incentives/interventions than others. There is no judgement from me on what other parents for their parenting/life choices. Amen.