That is just the sleep deprivation talking. Don't mind me.
And get this. I win at being a total louse. Honey worked until 12:30 AM, and I still required him to help me with the baby twice because I couldn't get the little bugger to let go of me for one second. Consequently, this morning, Scooter shot dirty looks at Honey and clung to me like a monkey.
~~~
So, when I was growing up, there was a ton of little girls (and only little girls - no boys!) in my neighborhood. This morning, one of these little-girls-now-grown-up messaged me and a few others to say: We should have a reunion! Well, sure. Why the hell not? It is just dinner. Most of us have kids and while I didn't always get along with some of them, we were teenagers and teenage girls are evil at times. Myself included.
Except for one person invited. A person who already said she would go. A person I pretty much detest. Let's call her Helga.
Why my strong anti-Helga sentiment? I shall tell you. Picture this. Remember my very best friend from childhood, Friday? Who worked with me for a while? Probably not. But still. Friday and I still communicate from time to time. We are still friends, but she lives in the city and we are both busy. We work in the same field. I saw her at our conference. Anyway, Friday and I had another comrade. Helga. People used to call us the three musketeers. We were BFF4eva.
Helga and I went to the same high school. I drove her to school everyday. I drove her to church every time we went (which was about...2-3 times a week.) We attended the same bible studies. Even after I left the church and had Brother, she went on a cruise with me and my family. We both eventually moved away from home, but to the same city. We used to go shopping. I would call her to chat. We were friends. When she got engaged, she asked me to be in her wedding. NOT as her maid of honor. She asked Friday to do that. But that was ok, really. (Aside: Friday had kind of a contentious relationship with Helga and didn't want to be her maid of honor. I totally spent hours talking her into it. "Sometimes you do things for the person someone was, rather than who they are now.")
Being in the wedding was important to me. We had been friends since we were 10 years old. I didn't (and still don't) have a lot of close friends... the kinds of friends who ask you to be in their wedding. And I had always wanted to be in someone's wedding.
Well, Helga was wrapped up with her new fiance and we didn't talk for a while. This just happens with new, shiny relationships. But time dragged on and on. By the time she started calling Friday to talk about getting dresses, I was 4 or 5 months pregnant. Friday told Helga and I never got a call about dress shopping. I never heard from her again until a wedding invitation arrived in my mailbox. She had decided she didn't want me in the wedding, but didn't bother to tell me that. I can only speculate that she didn't want a fat girl in her wedding pictures. Because I was still the same person who had been there for her for 15+ years. We haven't spoken in 7 years.
Anyway, I don't really want to go to dinner with her. I still have hurt feelings. But I do want to go. I also don't want to be the kind of person who behaves childishly, "I'm not going if Helga's going!" Jesus, can I please act my age, right?
Still. Uninviting someone to stand in your wedding without even telling them? That is kind of evil. I think I am justified. I am not even doing a very good job of conveying how close we were and how hurt I am and how inappropriate it was. I could try to ignore her, but I don't want to ruin the dinner for anyone else with my bad attitude. What would you do?
10 comments:
That's really awful.
You should go. It sounds like there will be enough other people there you can talk to and catch up with. You'll miss out on the fun if you don't go, and then you'll have a whole new reason to resent Helga.
I would go.. and try to ignore her, be civil, catch up with the others. We have all done something shitty to someone else, we've all been trapped and made stupid decisions, maybe she did.. and if she's still a bitch then at least you know that for a fact and not snowballing speculation, you know?
As an aside, this made me smile.. a few years ago we had a neighborhood-girl reunion too! It was so fun!
I think you should go. This is the kind of anecdote where we'd need to know unknowable things (like her motivations/reasons back then) to make a decision, and it sounds like maybe there's even room for a misunderstanding that could have gone the other way ("I asked her to be in my wedding and she said yes but then I never heard from her again! She didn't respond to my call/email [that something went amiss with] about the fittings! She never even told me she was pregnant!" or whatever). Or maybe there's more to it than in this post, like that she told Friday stuff that lets you know for sure the cutting was deliberate, in which case it's bad but it's still not deprive-yourself-of-the-reunion dreadful---especially since we don't know what her reason was for cutting you out.
What the what, that is really terrible. I don't know what I would do. I would probably go and feel awful the whole time and not say anything to Helga, but that's not to say that's the RIGHT thing to do. I think the right thing to do would be to write her an email/letter telling her how much she hurt you. But. I'm not sure I would actually do such a thing. Blarg.
And you have very many people in the blogosphere who would so be your close friends in real life, so!
Ugh. I would still go, but I'd have a hard time with it, I think. Maybe she'll apologize for it?
What Helga did to you was horrible. HORRIBLE. I think a lot of girls/women get very caught up in their weddings and exactly how every single aspect should be. I, for one, nearly asked one of my bridesmaids to take out her nose ring, because we were having a classy event here! No room for your sleazy nose ring!! I didn't though, and I am glad.
I would bet that this is a situation where there was some bridezilla malice involved, but I bet some misunderstanding too.
In any case, you will have fun if you go regardless of Helga. Coat that bitch in honey. And you'll regret not seeing the other gals if you stay home.
I want to hear all about it.
Ugh. I have nothing but sympathy and all the support one can give over the internet! (hugs)
I wish I had some good advice but I don't. :(
oh and did you go. I just realized this post is over a week old.
I am totally with Saly and I'm glad she went first because I never would have phrased it as "coat that bitch in honey."
But that's exactly what you should do.
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