So, as it happens most weekends, there were about 5 little boys in my living room playing video games. Keep in mind, I had to nimbly fend off puppy dog eyes for all of the morning and most of the afternoon to keep them out in the sunshine. The begging consists of wide eyes, clasped hands and much bouncing up and down. And puppy-like whining. But oh, the allure of the GameCube calls to their feeble little hearts and they press their noses up to the windows like teeny Olivers.
Honey and I are cooking in the kitchen, listening to the commentary. I am not sure how I feel about the wishing for "sudden death" and the level of violence in the game. We are usually super careful about the ratings of the video games, but Brother begged and begged for this one and all his friends had it...how bad could it be? Well. Bad enough that I feel guilty for buying it for him, even when it was his choice of a reward for good grades. It is such a tightrope act. The balance between cultivating a peaceful empathy towards others that shuns violence and not sheltering him to the point where when he is finally away from our control, he goes crazy and makes horrible decisions because he was never allowed to experience any vices within a controlled/safer environment. Also, you have to deal with the whole "forbidden fruit is always sweeter" and allowing him to have the same experiences as his peers.
I talk to him about this game and why I don't like some of the aspects. (This is the only one we own that I have any remote problem with.) I talk with him about a lot of subjects that my parents never touched on: religion, racism, sexuality, sexual violence, politics, gender equality, discrimination, gay rights, tolerance/acceptance, the environment and conservation. I have to temper these conversations with his age and putting things in ways he can understand and relate to. I also keep in mind that if I prattle too much, he will start tuning me out before he even hits those hard teen years. But I just want to be open with him. I want him to know that no subject is taboo; that he can talk to me about anything. And that he can disagree with me.
So, in the spirit of 'picking my battles', on the weekends, there is digital carnage in our living room. I hope this position of 'give' will enable his position of 'take' when it comes to The Big Stuff.
5 comments:
well you are better than me. My son has played that game at his friends house and I had no idea it had all that violence in it. I guess I sorta thought since it was a Mario Bros game that it would be pretty tame.
This is something I struggle with too. We don't have the gaming stuff - Ben's exposure is limited to his "Leapster" and "Meteor Crusher" (like the old Asteroids arcade game) on TH's Blackberry - but sad as I am to admit it, I really think that the Star Wars movies have corrupted his innocence. He totally picked up on the violence and always asks for movies with "action" in them. Though he likes the tamer Disney stuff just as well...
like you said - it's about picking your battles. And I also worry about what the other kids are doing. Even at his tiny Montessori school, he gets exposure to all the stuff the other boys are watching on tv or playing on their video consoles.
Your a great mom for being so open and honest with talking about the issues with your little one. I think it's important to be open about things so they don't end up being such a big surprise. I talk about all of those things to my kids until I notice their eyes rolling back in their heads from bordem.
I think kids get desensitized to violence when no one bothers to talk to them about it. He's going to see it, whether it's at your house or someone else's, so better that you're there to guide him through it.
If I remember correctly - I believe there were quite credible studies that showed children were very capable of discerning between fantasy (and violence)and reality if they got parental guidance. So as long as you can talk about it... he should be fine.
Btw You're tagged- forgot to tell you yesterday and you've already found out but I still wanted to tell you :)
And yes they are publishing the books in english
http://www.margitsandemo.co.uk/
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