Yesterday was awful. Yesterday, I was ready to give him back to whoever might take him. Trade him in for a less aggressive model. In fact, I called his maternal and paternal grandmothers, just to offer. Why? Why? Why??? What did I do to deserve this little blond speck of pestilence? This mean mean miniature who thinks little babies are made of cotton candy and very good to munch. Take a deep breath.
Hello. My name is Misty. And I have a Biter.
I couldn't even look at him, I was so furious. I didn't want to feed him dinner or hold him. When Honey came home, I said, "He is officially your child now. I retract all responsibility for him. Please, take him in hand." Of course after relaying that Jelly Bean, despite his pint size, was the biting bully of the 1-year-old class and had attempted to take chunks out of some poor unsuspecting baby six times before actually succeeding on the seventh...well, he didn't want much to do with him either.
Perhaps I should offer up the obligatory "oh, isn't that awful that we felt that way" blah blah blah, but I am just not feeling it. We are horrified. Is there really a more appropriate response? Maybe. I will accept a maybe.
Today, we sent Orajel, just in case it helps. I have given the teachers permission to place him in a height chair if there is a time where he simply cannot be shadowed to prevent an incident. I told them to put him in time-out for attempts as well as 'successes' on his part. And lastly, I gave them a pacifier. I had him 95% broken of it, but if he chews on it and it saves those poor poor teachers from having to get yelled at by some irate parent whose kid has teeth marks in her arm...well, I will just have to deal with it, won't I? What is more important? Safety or my ideals?
Before bed time, I scooped him up, my little baby. I held him in my arms and rocked him and cried a bit telling him I loved him so so so much, but he just can't hurt other people. He just can't. How do you make a 16-month-old understand?
7 comments:
I have no pearls of wisdom to offer, just that I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
man. That sucks. I'm sorry and I hope that he grows out of it soon. BIG hugs.
I don't know much about the subject, except that it's a fairly common thing for kids. I don't think it's necessarily aggression at his age, but could be attention-seeking. The best thing for attention-seeking is to NOT give the attention - just say "no biting", move him away from the situation and move on. Good luck! I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon.
He'll grow out of it. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things. Hang in there! He's a baby, and he doesn't *really* understand that it is wrong.
Heidi
Maybe some words to help--first, this is a common developmental stage. Just like crawling and walking. A 16 month old doesn't have the capacity to premeditate. Or to fully control impulses. When I worked in my son's preschool (a lovely, patient place), they had a biter enrolled. He was a charming little guy but was stuck in biting mode. It takes A WHILE to pass. Getting mad and punishing can even reinforce this behavior--"Look at the reaction I get! wow!"
Yes, of course, tell him no and move him. The other important thing (at home and school) is just to stay near and stop an incident before it starts. I know this is really hard and frustrating, but it will pass.
My 16month old - has occasionally taken bites at me or the hubby. Actually he started biting my nipples while breastfeeding (OW!) when he was 11 months and I of course said OWWW! and NOOO really loudly but it didn't seem to help. Then I read somewhere that you should make a mean face and growl at the baby- that they would understand that at a baser level. And since I was desperate I tried it... and it worked. Who knew. I don't know if you want to tell your daycare personel to start growling at babies. But that worked for me :)
However, he still bites his dad- who does not growl at him.
Having been on the other end of it, I can say that I harbored no ill feelings toward the parents of biters. I think it's pretty common; he'll grow out of it. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
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