First, Second, Third, Broccoli Turd

Last night was a trial. Brother was having a hard time studying spelling words (i.e. not studying them at all, and then not knowing how to spell them when I asked.) Homework time gets nasty a lot. *Sigh*

On top of that, Jelly Bean did not want to go to sleep. I laid him down in his bed with blankets snuggled around him and he peers up at me with these beautiful solemn eyes and his floppy blond hair. It is my favorite mental picture of him. And usually, he goes right to sleep. But last night, he hollered a bit and I went and got him. When I picked him up, I said, "Do you want to nurse?" And he does his whole body nod in which not only the head bobs, but the belly gets in on the action, too. He is super cute when he does this. So we go nurse for a little bit in the big comfy recliner and Honey takes him to go lay him down again. Almost immediately, the screaming begins. We let him fuss for a minute or two and then go get him. This is so unlike him! So we let him run around for a bit.

While he is playing and I am fussing with Brother and homework, I look down at the middle of the toy-strewn living room floor. What the hell is that? It looks like alien broccoli.... So I go to investigate, bending way over to peer at the substance. I call Honey, "What IS that?" He comes over to look and I say, "Hey, there is some on your pants!" I poke the alien broccoli with my finger and then say, "Go look at Jelly's diaper; it could be poop."

Honey is incredulous and looks at Jelly's diaper. It is completely clean, he says. It can't be poop. I pick up the substance and smell it. "Oh god, it's poop," I say. So, Honey takes the baby's pants off and there it is, poop everywhere. Jelly Bean has become so wiggly, lately. And because of skin issues requires a substance resembling lard being smeared all over him after baths. (We affectionately call it "the marinade".) When thinking of dressing him after baths, two phrases come to mind: "Greased Baby Contest" and a quote from my favorite book, "You try puttin' pantyhose on a tom cat." It is a kickin' screamin' twistin' turnin' not-such-a-good-time. It works best when TWO of us dress the Bean. Because of these post-bath issues, the diaper got put on a bit crooked. Crooked enough so when he 'went' the mess just traveled down his pant leg and onto the floor, instead of staying compactly in the diaper, like it is supposed to.
There was poop on the carpet, Honey's pants, Jelly's legs, foot, and other areas where you would expect the mess to be...Oh, and there was a bunch mooshed up in the baby's pants, too. Fun, yes? And, of course, once he was cleaned up with fresh jammies, he drifted right off to sleep, just like always.

Gee, I wonder what the problem was?