The REAL Day of Fathers

Fatherhood. I don't really and truly understand what it means to actually be a father, because this is something I know I will never be. Yes, I have a father. Yes, I am married to a father. But I have never truly contemplated what it means to be a father, myself. But if outside perceptions are worth anything, I think a lot of times, maybe, to be a father is to be a large kid. At least, that is true if our Father's Day is any indication of the quintessence of fatherhood.

We went to where a kid can be a kid...even though between Honey and I, we played just as many video games as Brother did. Have you noticed how these places where you play machines with lights and pretty sparkles and you get "tickets" when you win are very similar to a casino? And just like someone's grandmother in a casino, here I am plunking my tokens repeatedly into a game I probably will not win. This is one of those simple games in that all you do is hit the button at the exact moment that a certain light shines and then you get the Jackpot, right? I swear this game cheats! And so I involuntarily yelled the granddaddy of all bad words at the naughty machine in the midst of the children playing skeeball, then promptly hid my shamed ruddy face in my husband's laughing embrace. Oh, bad bad potty mouth me. Less than 10 minutes later I did it again! Will I ever learn?

So, I hope my husband had a good Father's Day. I wanted to make it a good one to show him how much I appreciate what a good daddy he is. He had asked for Outback and shoes, which he got, as well as breakfast in bed. I also bought him a shirt he had been wanting and arranged for our first night alone since Jelly Bean was born at a local bed and breakfast. We had a fancy dinner and tried two different kinds of wine as I think we are finally embarking on the journey to try to become "wine people." The room was beautiful, complete with ginormous canopied bed and a deep cobalt whirlpool tub for two. It was a nice night and I adore having alone time with my love, but ultimately it is an experience I do not want to repeat soon. Too much of a good thing, I guess. I really missed my children. My nursing body and mother's heart were very uncomfortable without them.

Now, we are sitting at home sipping sangria and watching the Discovery Channel while the baby sleeps. Brother is asking us to change the channel, but I am telling him, "No, it is Father's Day. Your dad gets to watch what he wants to watch." We are relaxed and a bit drowsy. Tomorrow begins a new chapter in our lives. And we are calmly waiting for the story to continue.