And Boy Am I Tired...

So! I have just completed my 5th month of being a real librarian-person-thing. I know my presence here went whoosh, like someone blowing out a candle. I knew there would be an adjustment period, but I didn't know that Monstro from Pinocchio was going to swallow my life whole.

Have I mentioned that I love it?

Oh, not every second. There have been times when I have cried in my office out of frustration and anger and sadness. There have been more bodily fluids involved than I would have realized. But there has been color and magic and jingly bells. There has been the ability to give something at the moment they need it most. There has been many many instances of 'thank you' and laughter. I am so glad I did it.

I have missed being here though. I think it was Marie Green who said, "If I don't write it down, I don't remember it" or something of that ilk. Lately I have been desperate to have memories because I feel like my life is speeding down the Autobahn at full tilt. I am missing the details. Honey and I will sit together and I will wrack my brain to remember baby stories for Jelly Bean. I remember so many things from Brother, but not as much from the second two boys. Of course, there is guilt and shame and "you're going to miss this" running through my head.

Actually it is a little more complicated than that. I worry I *won't* miss it. I won't remember enough to miss how Jelly's every art piece was of Plants vs. Zombies or his new found lurve of cheese pizza. Or how Brother's hair is so long and looks like he stuck his finger in an electrical socket because of the chorine exposure from swimming every day at camp. Or even how at not quite two, there isn't one word Scooter won't attempt or say.  He is really the most verbal of my three kids at this age. I need to start keeping track of my memories in some way so that when I am older and my babies are gone and my life has been longer, I can remember...everything.