Some of the best things about having a new baby is remembering all the stuff you loved about having your other babies. I love putting New Baby in Jelly Bean's and Brother's old clothes. And wrapping him snugly in a particular receiving blanket I have had for the other boys. It is like this wonderful mix of new tiny person with a healthy helping of nostalgia thrown in.
Jelly Bean loves being a big brother. He is handling it so well right now. He goes and checks on the baby and looks at me seriously to tell me, "When the baby wakes up, you feed him, ok?" Yessir. Brother is way more nonchalant about the new addition. He might smile at New Baby occasionally and probably has only held him three times, but has said to me, "Gee, I really like New Baby a lot more than I liked Jelly Bean when he was born." The unseating of Prince Brother was not a very enjoyable experience for him.
New Baby is growing really well. In three weeks, he gained 2 lbs 4 oz. Whee! I was so proud of myself. Jelly was so little he lived in the tenth percentile and I was convinced it was all my fault. But this time, New Baby is in the 30th percentile! (I am being slightly sarcastic. I grant it is a silly thing to be proud of because it is not like you control it or anything.) Anyway, he is growing up so fast already and I have my usual "Oh-my-womb-is-vacant-are-you-sure-we-can't-have-any-more-babies?" Honey is pretty firm on the "Hell NO." But I walk through my day snuggling New Baby close and admiring every bit of him, soaking up every molecule of milky smell and yellow poop. Because here, in this one and only lifetime, there will be no more babies I will call my very own. I look at all of our gear. At the teeny outfits that used to belong to the older boys and the worn receiving blanket and I wonder, "What do I do with all this when New Baby no longer needs it?" I want to pack it all away in the attic for grandchildren, but how would my sons' partners look at me if I handed them these ratty old things that are so precious to me? Like I was insane, probably. It's not a form of rejection I really want to experience. Still, what do I do with this stuff?
When I was pregnant, I couldn't relate as well to the posts about folks' hearts breaking because the bassinet was gone. Now I can.
5 comments:
It is scary to think about our sons having partners. And becoming mothers-in-law. That was one of the first things that crossed my mind last night when I sat down and really started thinking about what it will be like to have a boy.
It's sad that there always has to be a last baby! No matter how many we have, it can't go on forever, and eventually that womb must be vacated for good. And I can't imagine that's ever an easy decision.
I've kept one box, labeled "Baby Things I Can't Bear to Part With." The Carter's vintage ducky onesie. The Baby Dior snap-shirt. A few other things. I'm not planning to hand them down; they're just for me.
Also, you made me cry TEARS about last babies. DRIPPING tears.
I have given away or sold most things that we are done with. My baby brother just had his first child, so it was easier to part with some things because they were going to my first nephew. I've kept special outfits from each child to be made into a quilt and the rest is gone. Last babies make me sad too.
Now that D2 is getting older and my house is so full of stuff I am finding it kind of nice to get rid of stuff (especially the big equipment) but I will keep a few mementos. I also love dressing D2 in clothing that the other two wore. It makes me so happy!
I am counting on the fact that my boys will only have daughters so that I can finally get my baby girl fix!
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