Dear

Dear Wal*Marts,

When I return something to you, I want my money back. I am not a payday loan facility. What the hell does "one to two billing cycles" mean anyway?

Sincerely,

Your Grudging Customer

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Dear Disney Website,

You are really hard to navigate and you don't have enough pictures of actual rooms. Also, the resort hotels are overpriced, but you make it so tantalizing with transportation and magic hours. So, at least fix the website, eh? And make it easier to find accommodations with a bedroom.

Thank you,

Future Vacationer

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Dear Brother,

Please stop with the homework drama. I am not sure I can deal with it any longer. Oh, and that test you refused to study for last night? If you make less than an "A", that's your butt.

Signed,

Your Loving and Adoring Mother

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Dear Bunnies,

You are cute and all and I am especially liking the binkies, but the chewing of the cords? Not so cool. You need to stop this. And don't retort anything about "being warned" or "bunny proofing" or "Didn't you read the website?"

Yours,

Tall-food-litter-box-cleaning-thing

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Dear Waist,

Please quit expanding. The jeans are starting to complain. Will speak to mouth and brain about their role in this issue. Personality trait: Lazy will be written up as well.

Sincerely,

Me