Biotch

So, last Friday, my sweet lovey husband guy was having a momentous 31st birthday and the only thing he asked to do on this momentous occasion was go eat at Outback. So, I got a sitter and took my love to have steak so mouthwateringly delicious, it makes you genuinely feel bad for vegetarians.
We get there and there is, no lie, a 1.5 hour wait. Honey looks dubious, but I prevail. "YOU wanted Outback! We will wait! Besides, what else have we got to do? You are going to get what you want on your birthday, dammitalltohell!" And so we got on the list, received a beepy thing, and decided to go across the parking lot to look about at Pier One. What else did we have to do right?

They were having a beautiful SALE and we got a modern silver six bottle wine rack for less than THREE bucks and a beautiful blue platter with a swirly wave pattern for the SAME price. Whoa. "Why don't I shop here more often," I say to myself.

I was looking at the mirrors and they had I had bought three wall thingys for my mother that said: Live, Laugh, Love (because she is into that sort of thing) that looked just like this:

And they were just $6 a piece. Not bad and I had forgotten to get my mom a birthday present, so voila! Anyway, we go to check out and clerk girl rings up three Loves, instead of the three separate words. After I have paid and am gathering up my goods, I look at my receipt (because I got stuff on SALE and wanted to make sure it was CHEAP) and mention to my husband as we were leaving, "Oh! She rang up three Loves!" And the retail girl takes receipt out of my hand and says, catastrophizing, "Oh no. I hope you guys aren't in a hurry." Takes my goods I just bought and proceeds to start doing something. I have no idea what. If she told me what she was doing, maybe I would have not broke out the wicked. But she didn't. So I did.

M: What are you doing? Can't we just leave? They are all the same price and I paid for them.

Clerk: No, our inventory would be wrong.

M: Can't you just fix it some other way.

Clerk: (hands me something detailed to fill out that practically wants my social security number and blood type.)

M: (shoots clerk nasty look) I DIDN'T ask to return these. Is this going to hit my credit card twice?

Clerk: No.

So, finally after typing and managerial intervention, she hands me a new receipt and my bag. I walk towards the door and look again at the receipt and then REALLY get huffy. (God, I am so evil.) I announce to the whole store:

"Oh. My. GOD! Look at this! She did it wrong AGAIN! She rang up three LAUGHS instead of the right thing! Her inventory will still be WRONG! What a waste of TIME!"

And then I walked out of the store. *Ahem* All I can assume is that perhaps she did an exchange? Or something? If she had maybe apologized and said she was sorry for the mix up and maybe tried to look sympathetic. Or maybe asked if I would be willing to be inconvenienced. Or at least told me what was happening, I may have not been so snarky. I do much better when things are presented as choices, rather than dictatorial mandates. In the end, we put the goods in the car and proceeded to have a lovely dinner of delicious cuisine.

(This post inspired by Swistle's post detailing how she is a much much better person than I and does not lose her temper with dumb little clerk girls and how she is most certainly getting into heaven, and I probably won't. The end.)