Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Change of Life

After much consideration, hand wringing, and deep breaths, I have come to a decision. A feeble one that I feel like I can't phrase really strongly. I shall write this in a whisper...

I think I am going to quit my job.

No, no, no. Not today. Not tomorrow. Probably not this year. And not for the reasons people usually leave their positions. I am actually quite happy, love my boss, and feel adequately compensated both financially and through benefits. I am going to quit my job for my kids. I haven't really made it a secret that I want to stay home with the kids and while that is still just as impossible as ever, I feel like I need to make more of an effort to be with them as much as I can. This past summer was livable, but not ideal. Brother did "ok" in daycare. There were still the scrambles and scrapes that occur when a bunch of kids are forced under one roof everyday all summer long. And Jelly Bean does "ok" everyday as well. But that doesn't stop me from wishing I could be with them every minute I am not. So here's the plan.

I am taking a class at the university that starts on Thursday. I have signed up for the subject specific test I will need to take in November. I have been paying fees and paying fees and paying fees...for this one purpose. To go work in the school system as a librarian. To have summers off and winter holidays and spring breaks with my kids. To have all the benefits of being a teacher, without the homework. I am wholly terrified of leaving my comfort zone. I am wholly terrified of the rules and hierarchy and people. And I am wholly terrified of leaving my job that I feel so so passionately about. But I will do it because I want to look at myself in the mirror when I am 32 and when I am 55 and when I am 93 and know that I did my very very best by these kids. That we still get to keep my salary and still have vacations. That I didn't get to stay at home all the time, but I did what I could to stay home as much as possible.

Now, after all this preparation, I just have to figure out how to get these people to hire me somewhere where I don't have to commute for an hour.

7 comments:

LoriD said...

I think you have a great plan! Best of both worlds.

I don't know how it works there, but here it's really beneficial to get to know the school principals of the schools you would want to work in. Make yourself available to serve as supply staff, once certified, then make it known that you are looking for something full-time.

d e v a n said...

I think that's a wonderful plan and I hope it works out brilliantly.

Nowheymama said...

No need to whisper--it sounds as if you've thought this out very carefully. Good for you!

Dana Clover said...

great plan! Go for it!

Emblita said...

That is a very good plan! A big plus in it is the lack of guilt. We don't like the guilt.

Chantal said...

Oh Misty, this is wonderful. I am so happy you are able to have a job that gives you the option of such wonderful flexibility. I am so happy for you to have made this decision. I know you will be so happy!

Saly said...

This is amazing super great news!!!!