Brother has been really sweet for the past couple of days, taking his punishment in stride. I am glad for this. We all get punished when he is punished and I am sure he wishes I would quit harping on the whole situation, but I just don't want it to happen again. So, that he is dealing with it with a noticeable absence of whining and crying and threats of running away and dying is a good thing. Instead of just being the miserly old mommy who only uses negative discipline strategies, I told him that if he got all good reports for the rest of the week that he could get off of punishment on Friday evening as opposed to Saturday morning. Hopefully this is enough incentive to behave especially well for the rest of the week. Keep your fingers crossed.
Speaking of good things, Honey has been really attentive and helpful lately. I am really lucky to have a husband who can assess when I am stressed out and try to figure out ways to help. Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve such nice treatment. (Is this a woman thing? Do you feel guilty and undeserving when good things come your way? Or am I just a mental case?) I do worry that I am taking advantage of his goodness sometimes.
But then, there are mornings like this morning when I had a big meeting and have to get "pretty" to go and Jelly is running through the house streaming toilet paper and Brother is telling me he thinks he is going to throw up and I am running around with wet hair in my unmentionables trying to locate and dress children. Right about then, I am not blessing Honey for his goodness, but rather cursing his ability to leave so early letting me deal with the fiasco that is our morning routine.
But, while I am pondering my existance and that of those around me, I wanted to mention something else. I asked a colleague of mine today, "How's life?" If someone asked me that, the answer would have been "Meh" with a bit of nodding and frowning. You know, like a 'not bad' reaction. But she brightly lit up and said, "Fantastic!" Like she really meant it. Whoa. That took me aback, because I would never have said that. This led me to wonder why. Maybe I am not as grateful as I should be for the little shiny triumphs, like getting children home safe and getting dinner on the table. Maybe I should try to see more silver linings. (Of course I will leave out that not one but TWO colleagues essentially told me I was overly pessimistic in the past 48 hours. TWO. Hmph. No one likes to hear that, you know.)
So maybe, I will try to edit my pessimism a bit. I will choose to reframe it from my initial reaction to the criticism (Well, I should just shut up. These people obviously don't like who I am.) to something more positive (I should use this as a learning moment to try to look on the brighter side of things.) Maybe when someone asks me how things are, I will try to answer "Fantastic!" and mean it. Maybe.
So, How's Life?
4 comments:
Try not to be too hard on yourself. I feel guilty sometimes on days when it seems hus is doing more than me. And he also gets to leave early in the morning. Glad Brother is behaving. My 4 year old son is becoming more and more rebellious these days.
It's so easy to get caught up in the bad stuff, that it can be REALLY hard to see the good, I'm so blessed stuff. I've been trying lately to be more optimistic myself. I used to be so cheerful adn happy and now I feel crabby and grumpy and bleck.
I would love to answer that question with a sincere FANTASTIC! But, I always have three hundred things going on in my head, so when asked, I always give the standard "good".
Misty, I'm just catching up. I am so sorry to read about Brother. I know you must feel heartbroken, but you know, we all have times when our children do things that disappoint us, things we know we've taught them NOT to do. I have been in your shoes more than once. Hang in there ... in a day or two, he will do something that will make you wonder how you ever managed to produce such a wonderful child. Ups and downs - it's what life (and parenting) is all about.
Hugs,
Heidi
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