Yesterday was awful. I mean, just awful. I am so embarrassed to even tell you why. The most unimaginable thing happened and I feel like such a failure. After much information gathering from a couple of different sources, this is what I *think* happened.
Brother was at the daycare. It is a really large center and the main room is similar to a warehouse (in that it is so large with high ceilings). He was walking to go to the bathroom. Another little boy, who the day care owner never has any trouble with as he is a quiet kid who listens pretty well, asked Brother if he could go before Brother to the bathroom. Brother told him no. The kid said he had to go first because he had to 'go' really bad. Brother punched him. In the face. Hard enough to leave a mark.
A gaggle of children went and got the owner and Brother readily admitted what he did and why he did it. But that is the whole reason. The kid wanted to go ahead of Brother. That's it. And THEN when the owner put him in 'time out' and told him she was going to tell me, he sassed her and said, "No, you won't."
Needless to say he is grounded-grounded-grounded for an entire week. I want to skin him alive. I am so angry and heartbroken and shocked to my core all at the same time. To physically attack someone on a near groundless basis is unspeakably wrong. He knows this. Violence as conflict resolution is not a value I hold for my children. In fact, I would have thought that I had really pushed the non-violence thing. I have told him time and time again that I wouldn't allow anyone to bully him. So why would he feel like he could bully someone else? He said he lost his temper, but my goodness, that is a pretty damn short fuse, eh? I feel like I don't know who he is. I feel like I have lost something. I don't particularly like him in any way right now.
I feel like I just messed up. Though I don't know how and I don't know why. But I just feel to blame. God, someone tell me what to do.
3 comments:
Oh honey. I wish I knew what to tell you. ((HUGS))
Oh Misty, I wish I could say something that would help. What a painful situation. The only thing I can think of is that you need to remember that he is his own person. That him doing this is not a failure on your part. Hitting that child (and sassing the teacher) was a decision he made and he has to live with the consequences. As parents we hope that we have control of our kids. Ultimately, we set our rules and let our kids know what is acceptable and all we can do is hope that they comply. I hope you are feeling better soon.
I'm sorry. THat must be hard. I'm sure ALL parents go through things like this at some point.
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