So, there is a small grunting baby scooting around our hotel room floor. I just got a whiff of the product of all the grunting. Oh boy, bright yellow breastmilk poopie. To be honest, he really poops so rarely that I don't mind changing him. But then, he is my baby. Does anyone truly mind changing their own children's diapers, even the stinky sloppy ones?
I have to go back to work full time next week and I am thinking the "exclusively breastfed" thing is going out the window as soon as I clock in. The cloud of failure is looming over my head and I don't contain enough sunshine to dissipate it. I simply just don't see how I can provide enough milk without supplementing with formula, even with the never ending pumping and popping of herbal supplements to try to get my girls on track. I have already exhausted my stock and have been pumping just one bottle a day for him to have while I am working part time. It just worked out that was all he needed while I was gone. It will break my heart to supplement. I really wanted to exclusively nurse for the first year. We have been trying with the baby food, but the looks on his face are reminiscent of torture victims being poisoned. Of course, my luck and he won't even take the formula because it also vile to his tiny palate. My first child is pretty darn picky, but he just might be the warming up act for this next one.
Speaking of my first born, there was this moment last night. This enchanting and wonderful moment at the end of the day in the Magic Kingdom where he was sitting on my lap and we were watching the lit up floats in the Disney parade while my husband stood behind us rocking a sleepy and somewhat fussy baby. Now, being from Louisiana, we weren't even going to watch this parade, because really, how could it possibly compare to Mardi Gras or any other Louisiana parade with trinkets, doubloons, and beads raining down from wonderfully costumed riders? But Brother wanted to watch it and we were trying to be compliant as this vacation is really about him. So, tired though we all were after a day of long waits followed by minutes of elation, we sat down and waited some more. My view was blocked and he kept telling me what was coming next. "Mama, here comes a fish!" "Next is Goofy!" It was quintessential Disney Magic to see the characters and hear the music. To see the look on Brother's face when Minnie waved just at him and Happy and Dopey shook his hand in turn. If you see old Walt, tell him I am eternally grateful for this magic. For this little painted face and shining eyes.
1 comment:
I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for breastfeeding as long as you have . . . many women will not do that for their child. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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