Why?

Every time I read this post (I think it is the 7 millionth) I get So. Angry. See, these kinds of things don't happen in our house. We have rules, understandings, and a no-pressure-in-the-bedroom relationship. Why is that? A number of factors. We are socially aware. My place of business works to end violence against women as its mission. My husband respects me as his equal and, to my knowledge, doesn't buy into stereotypes about femininity and masculinity. He believes in what I do. I *think* he "gets it." We also talk. A lot.

From the comments, my husband and I are obviously from Jupiter because everyone seems to go through this. Husbands pressuring their wives for sexual access. Why would this be ok? Um, why would you want to have sex with someone you guilted into it? Why would you want to be with a woman who doesn't want to be there and finds it irritating. To me, sex is when two people are together and it is not forced/coerced and is completely consentual and mutual. If a man is using a woman to get off, I call that vaginal masturbation at best.

Remember men of the world: I am not an object, I am a person. So if you are just looking to get off? Head to the bathroom with the KY and take care of business. Guilt/Silent Treatment/and all that jazz are types of coercion in my book. And coercion is WRONG.

So tell me, bloggy sages. How do I make sure that my sons do not grow up into men who think that this is acceptable behavior? As far as I am concerned, there is obviously an epidemic. A failure in masculinity. Something.

Little Help?

Survey SAYS:

I was hoping you might consider participating in this survey a friend of mine is doing. It is for professional purposes and not prurient interests, but it is about a commonly-thought-of-as-uncomfortable topic. So take a peek and help out the researchers!

From mi amiga:
This survey is ANONYMOUS. Let me reiterate that this is completely anonymous. You will be asked your age range, and that's it for identifying information. Your computer's IP address will not be stored. I have neither the technical know-how nor the desire to link responses back to specific people. Of course, you may skip any questions that you prefer not to answer. And yes, I am aware that this is not a scientific survey. It will be used for training purposes, not for peer-reviewed research.

Thanks guys.

Impossible...

"Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't do impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've done as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Alice in Wonderland

image by Shirley Holt, found at http://www.carmelart.org/artists_pages/holt/holt.html