Maybe

**Contains tales of reproductive workings. You have been forewarned.**

Thank you for all your warm warm comments with a healthy dose of enthusiasm. I needed that.
I am a little concerned this time though. I am feeling like this time, it is so tenuous and can disappear at any moment. I could be pregnant today, but perhaps not tomorrow. I am trying to make my peace with this, but can't help but feel like the whole thing is hypothetical at this point. There is a reason for this.

See, I had an IUD and then I got it out because we were going to start trying in January...the one that hasn't happened yet. We did this in October and were supposed to wait to get pregnant until I had a couple of cycles under my belt to make sure the uterine lining was thickening enough to sustain a pregnancy. Apparently, this is a concern after IUD removal. Ok. Makes sense. We can do that.

And then, I had the most god-awful period of my life about two weeks after it came out. I was actually kicking myself because I hadn't had anything even remotely like this in the 3 years I was on the IUD and I seriously felt like, "PUT IT BACK IN! PUT IT BACK IN!" But, sure enough, it ended. And I was glad it had came and went because I was keeping track of such things, because...you know. January.

Then, on Thanksgiving night, I woke up and sat straight up in bed, and said aloud, "Where's my period?" Well? Where the hell was it? We had been "being careful" and "taking precautions"....right? Right? I am a grown woman and my husband is a grown man. Surely we know how to prevent pregnancy, even in the absence of chemical birth control!

Yeah. Not so much.

So I peed on a stick and there were the two little lines. I was disbelieving because we had been trying to wait and were actively NOT trying to get pregnant. I told my mother but told her that it was too soon and not to run out and start buying baby clothes just yet.

And the next day, I woke up to bleeding. So, as soon as the weekend is over, I run to the doctor's office and they do blood work and then do some more blood work a couple days later, which was declared, "Beautiful" by my favorite nurse. Thing is, I have been spotting for over two weeks now...and this hasn't ever happened to me before. So I still feel so uncertain. I'm not excited. I keep asking Honey, "Do you really think we're going to have a baby? Really?"

Apparently there is a Kidney Bean floating around down there for the time being. I feel like crap, so I am taking that as a good sign that my hormones are making me want to vomit at the sight or smell of anything edible.

I feel like I am on a journey in uncharted territory, in the Land of Maybe.