Thanksgiving

So, remember how I was off for the week to spend quality time with my family and all that jazz?

I actually had to go into work yesterday. For just about the whole 8 hours. And I was MAD. Furious, even. Like the mumbling under your breath and angrily swiping at tears kind of mad. Like hating my job and its neediness and the fact that it stole a day with my family from me. But then? I am not mad anymore. Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk. I knew we were swamped when I asked for the time off. I was a bit surprised when my boss told me it would be ok. Like I said, Oh Well. What are you going to do?

Because when I was out of town last week, I heard about a colleague of mine who worked at another agency who got a terrible infection somehow related to the birth of her child and had to have all of her limbs amputated at the elbow and knee joints. She has a new baby and two other children. And I just felt my heart constrict and fracture. A few days later, my mother gets a call from one of our dearest family friends from back home. It comes out that the friend's baby granddaughter, who was just 19-months-old, died from meningitis. Within 10 hours of symptoms, she was gone.

Jelly Bean hasn't been sleeping through the night and I go to comfort him in the dark. I pick him up and cradle his two-year-old body in the stillness. I sway back and forth. How absolutely lucky am I to be able to stand and hold his 20-something pound self? What gift is this to be able to sway back and forth with these wonderful legs and strong arms I have? And I know of a set of parents who would give probably every single thing they own to be able to rock their child in the night just one more time.

So, instead of being angry and upset about stupid things, I am just glad I am needed. I am just counting my blessings.