Alumni Posts

So, there is a pretty fun meme going around I thought I would give a whirl. First there is the perky Yes-we-are-perfect-and-accomplished-everything-we-set-out-to-do Alumni Bio Paragraph, which is as follows:

Misty and Honey are soon celebrating their first year of home ownership followed closely by the anniversary of their second year of marriage. They live in Quaint Southern Village with their two beautiful children, Brother, 6 and Jelly Bean, 10.5 months. Both Misty and Honey are gainfully and happily employed in their chosen careers and are nothing but happy happy happy. (Insert wretching noise)

THEN, there is a more true and a tidge more comical version where you get to let it all hang out. (Well, maybe not ALL of it. I do want to retain SOME blog readership.)

Currently residing in JesusLand, where they have relatively nothing in common with anyone in a 300 mile radius, Misty and Honey have now been married for two years and have two children, which they have also inflicted with the multisyllabic hyphenated Last-Name. In fact, many people like to ask, as it if were their business or something, how MistyHoneyBrotherJellyBean "got" the Last-Name and then procede to curl up their noses and subsequently their brains in effort to try to wrestle about with the idea of taking each other's names, which is unheard of in the 300 mile radius. Currently the oldest child is subsisting on white rice, white pasta, macaroni and cheese, and the occasional peach. Both Honey and Misty expect Child Endangerment to show up at the door any day now to forcibly remove him from their custody due to malnutrition-despite-best-parental-effort. Meanwhile the youngest, also known as Jelly Bean Last-Name, has begun his journey to mobility after taking his first steps at 10.5 months, which clearly is really just too early and demonstrates an ambition level far too high for the Last-Name Family. They are considering him possibly being switched at birth. Misty has recently been suffering from post traumatic job disorder due to the scary things in the workplace and Honey is still engaging in his hour long commute to Somewhere-Worth-Working.

Ha!