So, last year Brother's teacher told me that she thought he might have ADD. While at first I was reluctant to believe that, I did have to admit that he did have some signs/trouble paying attention in class. Mostly just spacing out and not doing his work. I talked with his doctor and he told me that we could do a battery of testing, but what it would come down to in the end was whether I wanted to put him on medication. We had a discussion as a family and since Brother makes the honor roll with more A's than B's consistently, we didn't feel like medical intervention was the right choice at the time. We informed the doctor and the teacher that we were going to wait and see if he could mature over the summer a bit and maybe get through this without medication.
The summer was lovely. Blissful. It is AMAZING how our quality of life changes when there is no homework to fight over and plow through every night. And school started and...Brother started having problems the second week. Not doing his work. Not paying attention. I had a mini nervous breakdown. We were not in a position to afford the $250.00 medication for ADD. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I decided to start paying him for good behavior.
This was a drastic move on my part. I grew up in a house where monetary incentives were basically frowned upon. I didn't get allowance, but was not expected to do many chores either... which is probably why my house is a disaster, but that's another story. When I came home with all A's once in high school, I foolishly asked what I got for all my efforts...and was told I get to eat and live in this house. Heh. (And oh, can you just imagine my parent's disapproval when they found out about this little scheme? It was something to behold...from another room.) Basically for writing down his homework in the proper place under the correct date and for not getting a number marked on his calendar (the school's 'note to parent' methodology of choice), he gets a dollar. Most months that is about $20.00 which is a far cry from the cost and mental anguish of putting my child on drugs.
The thing is that I need some proof he can't do it on his own. I need to know there are no other strategies that can be employed before we go that route. I need to know that he has a medical condition that requires medicine and is not...just being a lazy normal kid. So, when he comes home and shows me his homework planner with no numbers and correct homework, he gets a dollar. "Another day, another dollar!" is something we say a lot in our house. And it is working. Not perfectly, but it is working. There are days when he doesn't write down his homework or when he is chatting with friends in class and gets a number. But that is normal, in my opinion and this strategy is effective for us, for now.
Lovely Disclaimer: Of course, this is just what is working for our family. Some children need different incentives/interventions than others. There is no judgement from me on what other parents for their parenting/life choices. Amen.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
What I Did On Summer Vacation by Misty OurHouse
This past summer, I took a lot of breaks. I took a break from blogging and a break from work: I only worked part-time this summer. Working about 24 hours a week and being home for the rest of it taught me a few things. No matter how much lip service I had paid to saying that stay at home moms work just as hard as working moms, I really had no idea that stay at home moms work HARDER than anything I do. There is the scheduling and the constant entertaining and the having to shop with children. And the fact that when you are with kids all day, you can't really even pee by yourself, let alone go through your Reader? Holy Moly. I am so glad I did it, really. And I liked having so much time with the kids, but I was really glad for my break of coming to work three days a week.
I joined WeightWatchers near the middle of the summer and lovelovelove it. It is basically the only thing that has ever worked for me and I was going around telling people, "YOU should join WeightWatchers!!!" Until I realized that wasn't a very nice thing to say... *Cringe*
This summer, Honey and I went to the beach for a weekend for our anniversary. It was so nice to be able to go out without feeling like you're eating at gunpoint. (Hurry up and scarf down that $50 meal, because the youngest is going to blow at any moment!) We walked on beaches and strolled through shops. It was totally relaxing.
With the kids we went on a Disney trip just this past week. And another thing I learned is that they *say* Disney is for kids...but I am not so sure. Swimming pools, now those are for kids. But rides and scary animatronic animals? Not so much. Brother had more fun than the little Bean. And there were bright spots, don't get me wrong. Like the Buzz Lightyear ride where we "got the naughty aliens and put them in timeout." Or how Brother talks incessantly about Expedition Everest and how much he loved it. And how Jelly Bean kept saying, "Guess What? We goin' Disney World!" every 5 minutes.
And of course there was another life lesson incorporated into this summer's curriculum. I think it was a course in irony. Honey got a new job with a huge raise and over the summer, thanks to this job and the work of two years prior, we paid off our debt. It took two long hard scrimping saving years, but we did it. Nearly $40,000. And we were so so proud of ourselves. It was so hard, but we had arrived. Now we could do the things we wanted to do. We could fix up the house and take more trips and do more things with the children. And then, like so many before us, Honey lost his job less than a week after our debt was paid off.
Now, we were in a decent position for this to happen. But it was a new job. A lucrative job. And such a blow to us. It made me really grateful for MY job and how dependable it is. It made us look at what things were really important and where the fat could be cut. He was only out of work for about a month. He worked his ass off, interviewing sometimes two and three places a day. Today was his first day at his new job. It isn't the fancypants position with the sky high salary that he did have, but it is a step up, and I am grateful.
So, I learned to be thankful this summer. I am thankful for my family, for my friends, for my resources, and for our perseverance. Because life is hard and wonderful and difficult and charmed, all at once, all the time.
I joined WeightWatchers near the middle of the summer and lovelovelove it. It is basically the only thing that has ever worked for me and I was going around telling people, "YOU should join WeightWatchers!!!" Until I realized that wasn't a very nice thing to say... *Cringe*
This summer, Honey and I went to the beach for a weekend for our anniversary. It was so nice to be able to go out without feeling like you're eating at gunpoint. (Hurry up and scarf down that $50 meal, because the youngest is going to blow at any moment!) We walked on beaches and strolled through shops. It was totally relaxing.
With the kids we went on a Disney trip just this past week. And another thing I learned is that they *say* Disney is for kids...but I am not so sure. Swimming pools, now those are for kids. But rides and scary animatronic animals? Not so much. Brother had more fun than the little Bean. And there were bright spots, don't get me wrong. Like the Buzz Lightyear ride where we "got the naughty aliens and put them in timeout." Or how Brother talks incessantly about Expedition Everest and how much he loved it. And how Jelly Bean kept saying, "Guess What? We goin' Disney World!" every 5 minutes.
And of course there was another life lesson incorporated into this summer's curriculum. I think it was a course in irony. Honey got a new job with a huge raise and over the summer, thanks to this job and the work of two years prior, we paid off our debt. It took two long hard scrimping saving years, but we did it. Nearly $40,000. And we were so so proud of ourselves. It was so hard, but we had arrived. Now we could do the things we wanted to do. We could fix up the house and take more trips and do more things with the children. And then, like so many before us, Honey lost his job less than a week after our debt was paid off.
Now, we were in a decent position for this to happen. But it was a new job. A lucrative job. And such a blow to us. It made me really grateful for MY job and how dependable it is. It made us look at what things were really important and where the fat could be cut. He was only out of work for about a month. He worked his ass off, interviewing sometimes two and three places a day. Today was his first day at his new job. It isn't the fancypants position with the sky high salary that he did have, but it is a step up, and I am grateful.
So, I learned to be thankful this summer. I am thankful for my family, for my friends, for my resources, and for our perseverance. Because life is hard and wonderful and difficult and charmed, all at once, all the time.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Hiding
I tromped through the house yelling.
Jelly Bean!
Jelly Bean!
I started to panic. Getting desperate, I said, "Jelly, Do you want a Popsicle?" even though it is 7:30 in the morning. And he pops out from...somewhere.
"Jelly, where were you?!? You scared mama."
"I hiding," says he.
So, that's where I've been. Hiding. I need some quiet time for a bit, but I will still visit you, even though I won't be here at home. And while I might not pop back out for a while (not even with the temptation of sugary treats), I want to let you know. Just so you don't panic.
xo
Jelly Bean!
Jelly Bean!
I started to panic. Getting desperate, I said, "Jelly, Do you want a Popsicle?" even though it is 7:30 in the morning. And he pops out from...somewhere.
"Jelly, where were you?!? You scared mama."
"I hiding," says he.
So, that's where I've been. Hiding. I need some quiet time for a bit, but I will still visit you, even though I won't be here at home. And while I might not pop back out for a while (not even with the temptation of sugary treats), I want to let you know. Just so you don't panic.
xo
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