I had an ultrasound yesterday. Thanks to the gods who control such things, I didn't have to have an examination by Dr. Snow Shovel Hands as he was called away to an emergency c-section and I am just not a patient kind of girl when it comes to flipping through old issues of Parents in a waiting room. (I was really dreading the exam. Hello! "When you walked in, you were only 2 centimeters, but after this exam, you're 5!" Kill me. Literally, the first/last/only time he examined me, I hit him and swore. Honey jumped out his seat. Next time he examines me? I want an epidural first.) Anyway, have you ever had an ultrasound this late in the game? I haven't. Not a thorough one, anyway. Did you know that you can see if the baby has HAIR in an ultrasound? Well you can. And my little baby has hair.
In fact, since Dr. Hands wasn't there, I had to go back today and see the nurse practitioner. I like her. She has normal-sized hands. Anyway, she was rummaging around down there and told me she could feel the baby's hair through the water bag.
I am apparently going to give birth to a tiny chimpanzee.
When I called Honey to give him an update and told him this fact, his first reaction was not a chuckle at my chimpanzee joke or even wonder that you could tell such a thing prior to birth. It was: "What's she doing poking around in there! She's going to break something!"
This still makes me laugh.
To complete this whole obstetrical comedy, I get back to my office and the doctor's office calls me on my cell. Hundreds of ill things go through my mind. Like, they found protein in the urine sample. Or one of the doctors looked at my ultrasound and freaked out because the baby is only! six! pounds! (They have been harping about his size for months. I think 6 lbs is a perfectly respectable baby size. But what do I know? I don't have 'God' tattooed on my ass.)
No, they told me that they tentatively had me scheduled to be induced on Monday! And wanted to 'offer' that to me. My reply: "Um. No." Gee, you think they could have told me while I was there for the hour and 15 minutes "We are thinking that you giving birth Monday would be good for us. Whaddaya say?" But, no. My due date is the 26th and I would like to make it to that date, if not a bit beyond. Make sure he is "all done" in there, you know?
I am highly amused at all of this. I feel like my life is a sitcom.
4 comments:
What? They just SCHEDULED you for a random induction for no medical reason before you even hit your due date? And then called and were like, "Surprise! You win! Induction!"?
Did you have heartburn during this pregnancy? Apparently that's an indicator that your baby will have hair: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/20/health/20really.html
Geez. They could have at least asked first. I heard that heartburn thing too, but I have had fiery heartburn for 4 pregnancies and had bald babies every time.
you are sooooooooo close!!!! EEEEEE!
Oh em gee, the scheduled, undiscussed induction. Also, I love that you HIT an OB.
I have had many a late ultrasound, and I love how much you can see.
You're so close!!!
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