Minutiae II

Just some boring junk. Even I am not that interested...

• Brother's party went fine. In the end, only 8 children showed up and it lasted approximately 2.5 hours. Not bad. I ended up shelling out around $150.00 for the whole deal, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Only one parent ended up bringing a sibling...so all that stress was for nothing. I feel a bit sheepish.
• Due to the 'extra' money we had left over, I got a new Crock Pot! Yay! My old one had been a second-hand gift and had died about 6 months ago. It was really a shame because I did use it so often. As fate would have it, our local Wally World was having a 19.92 sale on a 5 qt slow cooker, so I got to get one. I am pleased, but strangely enough, still haven't broken it out to make something melty and delicious. I think this is because I need to go grocery shopping. Hey! Got any good slow cooker recipes?
• Jelly has been just frantic with energy. Climbing. Hiding. Slipping into the crevice behind the dryer in the laundry room. It is wild. We took him off of the cough medicine the doctor had him on, because we were convinced it was making him more hyper. It does seemed to have toned him down a teeny bit. Hey, we will take what we can get.
• Jelly Bean's hair was slightly damp when he went to bed last night and he literally woke up looking like Thing 1 and Thing 2 with the wild stick-up-y hair. It was so adorable, I made Honey take a picture and I did not comb it to make it behave. However cute it looked at the house, I was a bit embarrassed when I walked into the daycare this morning because I just noticed the outfit he was wearing looked a little bit too small and the crazy hair. Very unkempt. Sigh.
• My Honey is sick with a terrible cough and cold. (Brother and I have a touch of the same thing, but Honey is the worst. Guess he got it from the Bean.) He was supposed to stay home today, but worrying about work got the better of him and promptly he was up, showering and shaving and explaining to me why he had to go in. I understand. I have things like that, too. Things I just shouldn't miss because of a little viral discomfort.
• We have a major school project to do by Friday. Ug. We barely barely have time to do homework, let alone this huge diorama thing. I need to concentrate on getting home early so we can start on it. It is sad. I am sure I have said it before, but Brother goes to school all day and I pick him up pretty early from aftercare. (I bet he is usually there for less than 30 minutes.) Then I let him go home and play for a bit before starting on homework, because it just seems too awful to make him do schoolwork right away. There just aren't enough hours in a day, know what I mean?
• Today is payday and that means I can go grocery shopping, which I like. I want to try to get us to start eating healthier. And I want a roast to make in my new slow cooker! I think I deserve it.
• Our yard is really really low and holds a lot of water. We have committed that any money we get back from taxes (Please, please let us not have to pay) is going into building it up so the water stays away from the house and gets the yard dry enough for a swing set that my folks have promised to buy us since last year. I know we should probably put any extra money on the credit cards, but I really want the kids to have somewhere to play. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

The Beginning of the End

I have been morbidly predicting the end of nursing for the past 6 months. Jelly Bean (JB) will get, just super wiggly and not sit still for not one gosh darned thing...And then *poof* sweet baby who loves mama is back nursing 3 times a day.

We are currently in a wiggly stage. We have been through this before, right after his first birthday, and he did grow out of it a bit. But here we are again. When I ask him, "Do you want to nurse?" I get the whole body nod from him, complete with matching head and body bobbing. And then I proceed to remove my shrunken old ninnies from their respective holders and he cackles at me. I am not sure if this is due to joy or due to the hilarity of my naked body. Mayhap, I really don't want to know. I offer him a breast and he wiggles away and runs.

*Sigh* It is a bit out-putting to undress one's self for no good reason.

But, this is the child who will not immobilize himself for anything. Not food, not love, not cookies or candy. Not toys, not playing, not nothin'. When you pick him up, it takes all your concentration and strength to hold his bitsy 22 pound self. He wriggles like a cat you are trying to dump into the tub. He squirms like a worm on a too warm sidewalk. He wiggles like...something really wiggly that does not want to be held. It is a challenge.

So, the nursing has cut way back to...well, to maybe 2 whole minutes a shot maybe once or twice a day? So I am donning my oversized cloak and scythe to predict the end. I am ambivalent about this. I will miss snuggling with him and listening to him swallow big gulps. I will wonder if his little immune system will be ok without whatever menial antibodies I have been sharing with him. But, I feel that so long as it is his choice to continue or stop, then this is good. I would happily continue, but I am willing put this vestige of babyhood to rest. I have enjoyed and loved growing his little body and feel proud that my breasts have been for more than just decoration. I will be a little sad maybe, but kids have to grow up sometime. And mine don't usually consult me before they do so.

Follow Up/Rant

The reason this has taken so long to get back with you all for your wonderful wonderful and generous advice (Thank you all SO much!) is that it took 3 days for me to get a hold of this woman. She was not returning my calls. Perhaps I should have just given up, but I wanted to make sure she heard what I had to say.

That sounds really dramatic, but this is what I decided. I told her that she and her children were more than welcome to come to the party, but due to budget restraints and my lack of self control with the guest list, I was going to ask her to take care of the $12 per child charge for four of the kids and I would, of course, take care of the child in Brother's class as well as extra charges for food, etc. I thought this was more than fair; I was really trying to meet her halfway. Then, in a less-than-kind tone of voice and without thanking me for my offer at all, she said, "Oh, well my son's birthday is the next day, so I am not sure we will be able to make it."

Thought: Hmmm, ok. Is the birth of one of your children something you didn't know before you called me?

So, I then offered that if all of the children wouldn't be able to make it or if she couldn't do the $12.00 a kid, then, if she was ok with it, I would be happy to keep an eye on her child so that this child could still come to the party. I have to stress how important she made coming to the party sound on the initial message. Saying things like: "I am a single mom and they never get to do this sort of thing because they are usually with their dad on visitation on the weekends. I will be happy to take care of any extra charges so they can come." See, to me, that says that this was important to her and her children and she was kind of alluding to deprivation of some sort maybe? I know how hard things can be for kids in this situation. I wanted to be amicable. So, instead of saying thank you to my offer or that she would consider it, she said, and I quote: "Oh GOD, I never just dump my kids and leave them anywhere!"

Thought: Um, I wasn't asking you to 'dump and leave' a child. I was offering to do you a favor. Which the proper response would have been: "Oh, that is so kind! Thank you for offering, but I am just not sure we will be able to make it" or "I appreciate that, but I am not sure I would be comfortable with that.

Note: I am a crazy paranoid mother myself and even with such an invitation would never ever ever leave my soon to be 7-year-old, even in a public place, even with a huge group of kids, with someone I didn't know. So I understood her sentiment, but she didn't have to be nasty about it.

So, I officially hate her.

I am still fantastically terrified of people just showing up with siblings to the party. Regardless of what the intentions of this mother was, my son's party has a really big and scary raincloud over it. If people bring extra children, I will have to confront them. I have no choice. I am the only left holding the bill at the end and where I come from, writing bad checks is generally frowned upon by law enforcement.

I wish that people who do this sort of thing might think about who they are doing it to... instead of just bringing their entire brood and foisting it on someone else to deal with. Even with offering to pay, it is really stressful. Imagine if someone brought 5 extra people to a dinner party you were having. Even though they are going to reimburse you for the food (Does that seem absurd to anyone else? You're having a dinner party that people are going to pay to come to? This is not a college kegger...) these are still extra people for you to entertain that were not invited. Or even, if they said, oh we are going to show up to your dinner party, but have our own picnic in your living room, so don't even mind us...wouldn't that be a little weird? My good manners would not allow me to exclude someone in this way. It would make me feel awful. Instead of thinking this is a flaw, I choose to think it is a proper attitude for when folks are your guests. Even if they don't want to be called your guests...

So, maybe I am selfish, but I would like my feelings to come into consideration at some point. And yes, I was brave and invited 30 kids to this party. The list got away from me a bit. But the different between 30 and 34 is almost a whole weeks worth of grocery money to me. It is the difference between choosing and being forced.